Before I head out, I turn to see Garrett watching me, appearing both hurt and angry. I should’ve talked to him, but there’s too much at stake. He saw too much last night. I’ve almost let him be involved and it can’t happen. Ever.
Whitney drags me to all kinds of baby stores and then on top of that, she makes me go inside Wal-Mart. Oh dear God, I think I’m about to lose it. The inside is packed with consumers shopping and not enough workers to avoid long checkout lines. But she was so excited about the baby stuff I couldn’t be annoyed. I think babies have this magnetic pull on people; I mean, who can look at a tiny baby and still be upset?
She immediately picks up a girly bedding set covered in pink and purple butterflies.
“Ohmigod, this is absolutely adorable! I have to have it, what do you think? Should I put it on the registry or buy it myself?”
“Who’s throwing your baby shower? Your mom?”
She appears distant for a moment before replying. “Um, no. My parents died a few years ago in a car wreck. Some drunk driver ran them off the road.”
All it takes was one tear falling down her cheek to make me feel horrible. “Oh no, I’m so sorry, Whitney. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth. I had no idea. I feel horrible.”
She places her hand on mine. “Hey, you didn’t know. Don’t feel bad, okay?”
The idea comes to me out of nowhere and a grin spreads across my face. “I’ll throw your baby shower. It can be a couple’s shower. Guys can bring diapers and women gifts. We can play games and it’ll be fun. Only thing is, can we have it at your place? I don’t really have anywhere to hold it.”
“You would do that for me?” she whispers, tears springing forward. “Aww, Raegan, I love you. Maybe if you and my brother ever work things out, you and I could be sisters. How awesome would that be?”
Right before she could hug me, I shoot her a shocked look. Whitney and I sisters? Sounds cool, but there’s no way he and I will ever work things out. I have too much baggage and I refuse to weigh him down, even if his kisses are like heaven.
“Yeah, okay, no. I love you too, so much, and of course I would do this for you. Nothing would make me happier! Okay, let’s plan it for…this coming weekend. That gives us a few days to get a cake ordered and get some food thrown together. I can order all that. And I can get some decorations and look online for game ideas.” I frown, pausing. “I know Garrett’s going to be there, and everything will be okay but…I don’t know if there will ever be anything between us.”
“I know my brother, Raegan, he’s never been one to actually like a girl. He likes you, I can tell. He’s just as scared as you are, but that’s the last thing I’m going to say about that. Scout’s honor.
By the way, I was really a girl scout, Raegan.”
I burst out laughing but my laughter stops the minute the cashier scans my cart that is filled to the brim with gifts, decorations, and other stuff for Whitney and Howard’s baby shower. Who knew all this stuff would add up so fast and I’d practically have to pull out a small loan to cover it? I still have plenty at home in my shoebox, though. Just a little more is all I need to get out the house.
Immediately, Whitney starts texting people; we only have a few days but I knew this was going to be the best baby shower ever.
***
The week flew by quickly and before we knew it, it was the day of the baby shower. Pink and blue streamers hang from the ceiling in Howard and Whitney’s cute little two bedroom house. A blue and pink tablecloth lay over the kitchen table and there is confetti everywhere. Whitney decided to do both pink and blue; I wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know the sex of the baby yet. Balloons hang off chairs and I have to monitor Lance to make sure he isn’t sucking all the helium out of them.
I decided to be nice for the day and speak to Garrett. I’ve barely said two words to him all week. I thought it’d be easier this way, but it’s hard as hell. He’s too handsome to ignore and when he grins at me, I just want to melt.
“Thank you for doing this for Whitney. It means the world to us,” Howard says.
“It was my pleasure. Ya’ll have done so much for me. This was a blast to plan.”
He gives me a hug before stepping away, and my gaze meets Garrett’s as he makes his way to me. I wonder if I can hide under this table; surely no one will see. But I shouldn’t because if I knock this cake over by accident, Whitney will murder me. I ordered the cake from a local cake shop that’s known for their specialties. The inside is a blue and pink marble, with blue and pink buttercream frosting. In big bold letters, it read, Congrats Whitney & Howard.
“You did a good job with this, Raegan, Whitney is excited.”
“Well, she’s my best friend; I would do anything for her.”
Garrett’s gaze is strong, a little too strong, pulling me toward him like always.
He takes a deep breath as I turn my head, trying to get my mind off him. “Raegan, look, I’m so sorry for that night. I just wanted you to talk to me. I miss you.”
“What’s to miss?” The stone walls around my heart were back in place and showed no signs of crumbling anytime soon. I can play tough and show no emotion whatsoever. But I feel shitty doing it. “I’m sorry, Garrett, I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s okay, I deserve it. I meant what I’ve said though. I want to be with you.”
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Garrett.” My voice emerges as a whisper.
Before Garrett gets a chance to speak, Lance walks up with a bright pink balloon and in a very high-pitched voice begins singing, “Raegan and Garrett are sitting in a tree, f-u-c-k….”