TKO: Total Knock Out (TKO 1)

“Yeah, no.” Raegan laughs. “Don’t you have some poor defenseless women to prey on?”

I wanted to laugh at that, but not after what I saw a moment ago. While Lance and I rode the Ring of Fire, Raegan’s ex approached her and they talked for a while. How convenient he waited until I wasn’t around. I guess I can’t blame him. Lance gives Raegan some witty remark, then wanders off into the night, and I’m alone with her wondering what the hell I should say.

Chapter 30

Raegan

Just when everything is going well, James shows up in uniform. I squeeze the giant pink teddy bear to my chest. My heart jumps. His brown eyes sparkle like little chocolate morsels and I quickly shake the thought away. He’s working. I’m so glad Adryian isn’t here to gloat. Right now I loathe him; he arrested me. I just can’t let that go. I wish Garrett and Lance hadn’t left me alone. I was vulnerable and James picked up on that.

“

Hey, Raegan, good to see you.”

That voice—damn, it still gets me. But I can’t let it.

“Hi.” I wish he would disappear.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay.” He reached out and touched my hand, and I jerked away almost immediately. “I’m so sorry about that night, Raegan. You have no idea how horrible that was for me. I worried about you so much. I couldn’t even tell Adryian about it. She asked how my day was and I couldn’t tell her. I’m sorry I brought her up.” He hung his head for a moment.

Sincerity. I hear it in his voice and for a moment I let the anger subside. “It’s okay, James. Really. You were just doing your job.”

“I do miss you, Raegan. I know you asked if I love her and I do. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I’m going to be honest with you. That doesn’t mean I can’t miss you, we’ve had too many good times together. You, uh, you still fighting?”

“I am. I really like it.” The screams of people on the rides fill my ears and the scent of cotton candy travels up my nose as I watch him intently.

“Wow.” He chuckles. “I can’t say I ever pictured you doing something like that, but I’m glad to see you’re happy. That’s all I wanted Raegan, was to make you happy.”

Why is he telling me this? There’s so much I want to tell him. So many words left unsaid.

“I’ll leave you alone, Raegan. I just wanted to say hi. If you ever want to talk, you know you can call me. We’re still friends.” I wondered if that was even possible; I knew it would be torturous, not to mention inappropriate.

Soon he’s gone, maneuvering through the crowd, making sure the fair is safe for all these kids who seem to be running around without parents. Garrett and Lance return. After bickering with Lance for a few minutes, he walks off to go do what he does best. Garrett and I stand in the warm evening air. The expression on his face is unreadable; he hadn’t even laughed at Lance and that seemed almost impossible.

“You ready to get out of here, babe?” I tug at his arm but he doesn’t budge. His gaze meets mine.

“Why was he talking to you, Raegan? I saw him. He waited until I wasn’t here and he walked right up to you.”

James. Dammit. Nothing I do seems right. “He just wanted to say hi. Nothing more, I swear.”

“I’m just saying it didn’t look like nothing.”

“Why are you picking a fight with me, Garrett?”

“I’m not picking a fight, Raegan.” He raised his voice at me. He’s frustrated, I can tell, his face is turning red like it does when he’s in the ring. The face he gets before he annihilates his opponent. Everything inside me is screaming that I am the opponent right now. James didn’t hug me, he barely touched me. But talking to him was stupid, plain and simple. I hung my head as people passed by, whispering. They could hear it, and I was so humiliated.

“Calm down, Garrett. I told you it was nothing.”

“You want him back don’t you? I may have been up in the air, but I could see it. I’m not stupid, Raegan.” When he jabs his finger at me, I want to slap it away, but instead I just stare at him incredulously.

“Where are you getting this from? I don’t want him back. I love you. Where is this jealousy coming from?”

“Look, I’m sorry. Let’s go home, okay?”

I placed the teddy bear in the backseat of the truck before climbing in and securing my seatbelt. I turned the radio volume on low, anything to hear some sort of noise to kill this silence. While I’m furious over his jealousy, and the fact that he raised his voice at me, I’m scared at the same time.

When we arrive home, I toss the teddy bear on the couch and walk straight into the bathroom. The shower is on to drown out the silence, and to keep him from talking to me. If he could raise his voice at me, what else could he do? Could he be like my father? I’ve just escaped from an angry, damaged home, and I refuse to step into another. It occurs to me I still don’t know him that well at all. A stranger I’ve made the mistake of falling in love with. Would he hurt me? Either way, his behavior tells me to keep my distance.

There’s a faint knock at the door followed by his pleading voice. “Raegan, baby, I’m sorry. Please talk to me. I don’t know why I got so jealous. I just love you so much. I can’t lose you.”