I push the thought away and dial the number that’s floating around in my mind—the one number I never would’ve dialed if I were sober.
Chapter 31
Garrett
I could pace this apartment all night. I’m
such a damn idiot. I just couldn’t stand to see him talking to her. This is why I don’t need relationships. She’s mad, I know it. She just up and left to go out. Without me. I wish I could explain why I got so mad about it. Maybe I’m terrified to lose her.
I felt a little better when she texted and said she was with Lance. I know he will keep her safe. Despite feeling a little better about the situation, I’m still on edge waiting for her to come home. She deliberately said not to wait up, but I’ll wait no matter how late it gets.
A couple bowls of ice cream later, my nerves are on edge and I’m pacing again. I grab my phone and call Whitney, hoping she can help me fix this mess.
“Hello?” She sounds like she was in the middle of something. Oh damn, I hope not.
“Hey, sis, what’s going on?” I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts, trying to calm down, but nothing is working.
“I’m resting like the doctor told me to. It sucks ass completely. Howard keeps fussing at me. What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m sitting here alone. Raegan went out with Lance.”
“Why’d she do that?”
“I kind of flipped at the fair because her ex said hello to her.”
“The hot guy? Mmmm, he is scrumptious.” I could practically hear her drooling and I prayed she would stop soon; it was making my stomach turn.
“Yeah, Whitney, that one. Now she’s mad and she said she wanted to get out the house alone. How bad did I fuck up?”
“Well, I can’t tell you how bad because I wasn’t there. How bad did you overreact?”
The events play through my head once more. He walks up to her, she talks. That’s it. I am so stupid. Nothing happened. Raegan was right. It was nothing more than a conversation. He was in uniform for crying out loud, obviously working the fair. Did I really raise my voice to her? Fuck, I did. No wonder she won’t talk to me.
“I raised my voice and—”
“What?” She screeched through the phone, making my eardrum ache. She continues to scream while I hold the phone away from my throbbing ear. When the coast seems clear to talk again, I return the phone to my ear. “Garrett Johnson, tell me you didn’t.”
“I didn’t mean to.” I run my fingers through my hair as I throw myself on the couch, frustrated as hell.
“Have you ever thought that maybe you scared her? Do you not remember the things she’s been through at home?”
Fuck. It makes sense now. “I’d never hurt her, Whitney. You know that.”
“Yeah, but does she? Look, I’ve got to pee, and I doubt you want to hear that. Just talk to her when she gets home. Everything will be okay. Lance’s with her, she’s safe.”
“Love you, Whitney. Thank you.”
“Love you too, brother.”
I end the call and contemplate texting her but I don’t want to suffocate her. She can have her space for the night and when she gets home, I’ll get down on my knees if I have to. Anything to beg for her forgiveness, I’ll do it. Anything to get Raegan back in my arms where she belongs. Nothing scares me more than the thought of being without her.
I turn the TV on and settle for some reruns on Comedy Central while waiting for her to come home. For the first time in weeks, this apartment feels empty and hollow, and I hate it. I almost jump in my truck and go down to Joe’s, but I stop myself. Why was I so stupid? I get up and search for the giant pink teddy bear. Once it’s in my arms, I cling to it as if it were her, and the feeling is so comfortable, I almost fall asleep.
Chapter 32
Raegan
“Raegan, is that you? Are you okay?” James answered almost immediately, and I burst into a fit of giggles on the other end of the phone.