I lock my car and head inside, heading down the halls.
“Hey Paige!”
I turn to see Nora walking up behind me. “Hey Nor, you’re awfully chipper this morning.”
“Eh, what can I say? Coffee works wonders on me.” She grins.
“Yeah, well I wish mine would kick in.” A small yawn escapes me.
“So, have you talked to that guy since the other night?” she asks. The small conversation Austin and I held last night flashes through my mind. Funny, I’m not used to this.
“Actually, yes. He texted me and called. He seems really nice.”
She starts babbling. “Ooo! Is there a date coming up soon? You haven’t been on one of those in years! I want to help you get ready.”
I stop dead in my tracks and turn to face her. “No, Nor, no one has said anything about a date and I doubt I would go on one. Nothing against him, but I have Darla to think about.”
“You can’t be alone forever, Paige. If this guy asks you on a date, you’d seriously turn him down?”
“Right now, probably so. I don’t have time.” I turn back around and keep walking.
“Paige, you can’t be serious. I’ll watch Darla for you if I need to. Does he know you have a kid?”
“I just met him. All he knows about me is I work at the hospital. That’s all he needs to know.”
“I’m just going to buy you a litter of kittens for your birthday. They can grow old with you,” she mutters behind me.
“Make sure they’re pretty at least. I love calico cats, oh and maybe a smoky gray one.”
“You’re insane.” She laughs as we both clock in.
I grab my badge out of locker and clip it to my scrub top. I glance at my phone one last time before shutting my locker, and I’ll be damned. Austin just texted me.
Austin: I hope you have a good day.
Paige: Thanks, you too!
I reply with a smile on my face. Nora leans over my shoulder, grinning. “That is so sweet. I still can’t believe you’d deny him a date.”
I set my phone in my locker and shut it making sure the padlock is secured. “Drop it, Nora,” I deadpan.
“Fine, you win.” She throws up her hands in surrender. “If all goes right, I’ll meet up with you for lunch.”
“See ya then,” I tell her as I begin walking towards the ICU. It’s one of the most heartbreaking places to work inside the hospital, in my opinion, but I’ve always been told I have a big heart full of hope for the patients; I wouldn’t want to work in any other part.
The first half of the morning seems to fly by. I’m all smiles as I see at least one patient getting moved to a regular room, but shortly after, the worst case scenario comes. A teenage kid who was critically injured in a car accident just hours earlier flatlines and we try everything to bring him back, but he is gone. I wasn’t here when he was first brought in because I was with another patient, but I’m one of the closest nurses when his mother yells from his room. I stay strong when we realize he’s gone but the moment I step out, I nearly run towards the restroom.
I lock myself inside of a stall and let the tears cascade down my cheeks. I’ve never lost a patient before. I knew this was going to happen one day but I wasn’t prepared. I glance at my watch and wonder if half an hour early is too early for my lunch. I need to breathe and regain my composure.
I pull myself from the ground
and unlock the bathroom stall door. I go to the sink and splash some cool water on my face. I’m still all red and splotchy and I’m sure people will stare, but it’ll be okay.
I leave the bathroom and don’t dare glance towards the room where we lost the teenage boy. I look around and let the head nurse know I’m going to eat a little early. She knows I’ve been crying. While I wait for her to scold me, I’m surprised when she offers me a sympathetic look and tells me to go ahead.
“This is your first time, isn’t it honey?” she asks me.
I nod. “Yes, ma’am.”