Blow (TKO 3)

“Got it.”

This time, Lance throws his hit and my hands jolt upward to block it. I sneak a hit in and Lance stumbles back, laughing a little. “Good hit, man, do it like that and you’ll be fine.” I glance toward Howard and he nods. I’ve got this. I can do it.

I’m focused, imagining the bright lights of the ring shining down on me. It’s me, my opponent, and a whole crowd of people beginning to chant my name. Austin, Austin, Austin! It’s like a natural high and I know I can’t let them down. They want to see a fight, so I’ll give them one.

We spar continuously until we’re both breathing heavily. We got a few good hits in on each other and I even managed to drag him to the ground. Howard stood beside us coaching me on the correct technique. I had to remember this was no longer street fighting, that dirty fighting is not allowed. Howard made it clear that I would be disqualified if I forgot the rules. I’ve come too far to go back to my old ways.

***

I pull up to the apartment hoping Ruston will be home. I haven’t heard anything from him at all today. Last I saw, he was quitting Lou’s. It’s almost like he’s avoiding me and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m overstaying my welcome. That’s the last thing I want to do. I head straight for the shower. I’m sweaty and dying to smell normal again. I let the warm water wash over my body before lathering up the soap. The aroma permeates the steam, and I breathe it in. Finally, something that doesn’t smell like beefed-up testosterone.

I wrap a towel around my waist as I step out of the shower. I sigh as I walk toward my room. I listen to see if maybe Ruston has come home but it’s so quiet I assume I’m alone.

Drying off, I put on a pair of boxers and some basketball shorts. I lie across my bed and reach for my phone. Still no word from Tamilyn either so I decide to text her yet again.

Hey, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you today.

I begin scrolling through my phone waiting patiently for a reply that may never come. I’m shocked when she almost immediately texts back.

I’m soooo sorry! I slept in this morning because I didn’t sleep well last night and I had a photo shoot this afternoon. I didn’t mean to make you worry.

I was thinking the worst, and here she was just sleeping and doing her job. I’m not sure why I’m feeling so damn wrapped up in her but I am. There’s some sort of magnet that’s pulling me closer and I’m not fighting it. For once, I’m allowing myself to feel something toward a woman. By now, the old Austin would have fucked her and been done, moving on to the next piece of ass he could find. But this Austin—this one wants to be different.

No, it’s all right. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Have you talked to Ruston?

I’m curious as to whether or not she knows anything but her quick response leaves me with no answers.

No, I haven’t.

Me either. Are you busy tonight? I’d like to see you.

Not at all, want to come over? I can show you those pictures from the fight.

I’ll be there in a few.

The grin that spreads across my face can’t be contained. I grab a shirt out of my dresser and throw it over my head. I’m ready to get over to her house and see her. I grab my keys and slip into a pair of flip-flops. This is the best part of my day.

Chapter 16

> Ruston

I did it. I did exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do and it hurts like a motherfucker. I let go of two things today. One thing I didn’t really care to be a part of, but the other has been a piece of me since birth and now it’s gone. Texting Tamilyn was a shitty move on my part but I had to do it. There was no way I could have told her in person. I need to distance myself, because this isn’t the person I am. I’m ashamed to think about the person I almost allowed myself to become. I went straight to my dad’s office after I left Lou’s. The day was filled with meetings about upcoming projects and it was plenty to keep me busy and keep my mind off things. I’m on my way home now and that’s when everything is hitting me full force. What the hell have I done?

I know Austin saw me in the office this morning but I didn’t want to face him just yet. Maybe he’s at the apartment and we can just talk about it. I won’t even mention Tamilyn or my jealousy. If they want to be with one another, I won’t stop them. I pull into the parking lot at the apartment and I notice his car isn’t there. I unlock the door and flip the light switch on. As I enjoy the peace and quiet, I notice the leftover steam hovering inside the bathroom and I know he’s been here. He must have left not long ago. Maybe he just stepped out for a moment.

Reaching for my phone, I text him.

Hey man, where are you?

I set my phone down and walk into the bathroom to relieve myself. I’ve needed to pee the entire way home. Why I didn’t before I left the office, I’ll never know. I walk back to my bed to find he’s replied. My gut just took a huge blow.

I came to Tamilyn’s for a little bit. What’s up?

Oh, nothing. I just got home. Wanted to see if you wanted to go grab a drink or something at Joe’s.

I lie easily. I don’t want to go have a drink with him but I needed an excuse as to why I was inquiring about his whereabouts.

We’ll have to reschedule that for sure. Next time, I’m in.