“I know it’s hard, but I’ll be right beside you. It’s going to be all bandaged up, Tam. There’s nothing to be scared of.”
“It’s our fault he’s in there, Ruston. I can’t go right now. I’ll wait in the waiting room,” she whispers.
I don’t want to push her into doing something she’s not ready for, so I drop the subject. I grab hold of her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll go with you when you’re ready, okay?”
“Thank you,” she says, as we walk out of the small room, forgetting all about the coffee. We stop at the waiting area and I watch her go sit next to her mom.
My mom wraps her arm around my shoulder and leads me down a long hall to the ICU. I hold my breath as we both sign in. The nurse points us down the hall, telling us what room he is in. “I’ll stay out here if you want to go in alone,” Mom whispers.
“No, I want you with me.” My gaze catches the room number, and my breathing quickens. I know Tamilyn wasn’t ready for this and I’m not sure I am, but I’ve got to overcome this fear and face the consequences of my actions.
Austin is hooked up to more machines than I imagined he would be and my heart drops. He looks so helpless just lying there. It’s so hard to believe that not long ago we were arguing in Tamilyn’s front yard. I walk closer to him and that’s when the bandage catches my eye. Tears make my vision fuzzy. Right then and there, I close my eyes and talk to God. I tell him I would have taken Austin’s place in a heartbeat if I could have. He doesn’t deserve this, but I know this is irreversible.
“I’m so sorry, Austin.” I grab hold of the only hand he has left and I cry. I cling onto him a little longer before I pull my hand away. “I’m ready to go back out in the waiting room, Mom. I’ll come back in a little later.”
“Okay, honey. Moira and James should be here any minute now, and I know they’ll want to visit before visiting hours are over.” I take another glance behind me, then hang my head as we leave the room.
Chapter 29
Tamilyn
My butt is already numb from sitting in this waiting room chair, and I haven’t been here that long. I’m ashamed of myself for not going in there with Ruston, but hearing everything we heard just tore me apart. I’m not ready to face that just yet. I look up to see Ruston and his mom walking back toward us. His eyes are bloodshot. He sits beside me, resting his head on my shoulder. I slowly run my fingers through his hair as he lies there quietly.
“How is he?” I ask softly.
“He’s okay, I guess. He’s hooked up to a bunch of machines and his arm is gone. He looks so helpless.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t face it with you.”
He doesn’t say anything else. My eyes begin to grow heavy. I have no clue how long we’ll be here so I let them begin to close. I’ve almost drifted off when a woman yells frantically into the waiting room.
“Where’s Austin?” My eyes jolt open and I realize his parents must have arrived.
“He’s in ICU, Moira. I’ll walk you and James down there and fill you in.” Paula grabs Moira’s hand and leads her down the same hallway Ruston just returned from.
My eyes fill with tears again. “I think I want that coffee now.”
“You sure? I’ll fix it for you this time so you don’t burn yourself again.”
We walk back to the small room with the coffee pot and I watch as Ruston carefully fixes my coffee. He even puts a small stirring straw in it and tells me to drink it out of that. I force a laugh out and just stare at him.
“You’re joking, right?”
“Yeah, I am. Take a sip, though, and I’ll carry it back to the waiting room.”
I bring the cup slowly to my lips and take a small sip. I moan slightly. I needed this so much. Soon, we’re waiting for Paula and Moira to come back. Fifteen minutes later, they emerge. Moira is a complete mess. Her sobs aren’t stopping and her husband just looks stricken. I want to crawl into a corner and die when she walks up to Ruston and asks him softly what happened. The funny thing about secrets is they don’t just affect one person, they affect everyone. I glance up to see Ruston’s expression. He wasn’t prepared for this. It’s time to come clean like we wanted to do with Austin.
“Mrs. Moran, I’m Tamilyn, Ruston’s best friend. Austin and I hung out a bit since he moved down here and I like him. He’s a sweet guy, but…” I draw in a deep breath. I want to look to Ruston for confidence to get through this but I don’t. “I love Ruston, and while I was hanging out with Austin, I went behind his back with Ruston and he found out. We never intended for him to find out how he did. We were supposed to all sit down and talk but things unraveled so quickly and there was a big argument in my front yard and he got in Ruston’s truck and sped off. That’s the last we saw of him. I’m so sorry for what happened—”
Her hand comes swiftly toward my face. The sound of her slapping me echoes through the room. I gasp as my hand flies toward my cheek. Paula intercedes, turning to apologize to me first. I can’t say anything else. I just cry silently as I watch more drama unfold. I’ve had enough for a lifetime.
“Moira, she was just telling you what happened. She didn’t deserve to get slapped.”
“She’s nothing but a whore who didn’t take his feelings into consideration, and now look what’s happened. My son is lying in a hospital bed, attached to God knows what, missing his arm! I hope this haunts you for the rest of your life.” She seethes at me.
My mom steps up beside me and glares at Moira. “Don’t put your hands on my daughter again. Paula, we’re going to head home. Please keep us posted.”
Paula pulls my mom into a hug and thanks her for coming. She looks over at me and sadly smiles. “I’m sorry, Tamilyn. Thank you for coming.”