Blow (TKO 3)

She grabs hold of my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Who knows, maybe this accident will bring you two closer.”

We walk inside, heading straight for the elevator. The rest of the way up to Austin’s room is quiet. So many things are running through my mind, like what I’m supposed to say when I walk into the room if he’s awake. It’s not like I can say, Hey, man, what’s up?

I grab my phone and check for the message I know won’t be there. Still nothing. I give up. She’s not coming up here. She never will. My gaze catches the room number Mom rattled off in the car, and I nudge her gently. “This is it, right?”

“Sure is.” She takes a deep breath. “Let’s go see how he’s doing.”

Before we can step in, Moira exits, glaring at me for a moment. Mom clears her throat and Moira’s once heated gaze turns kind. “I’m glad you came this morning. The nurse is changing his bandage right now so it’ll be just a minute before we can go back inside.”

With my hands in my pockets, I begin rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet while Mom chats with her. I stare down the hall at the other rooms that stretch as far as my eyes can see and say a silent prayer for everyone in here. My phone dings and I pull it out of my pocket to find a text message. I don’t recognize the number.

Hey Ruston, this is Howard. We heard about Austin’s car accident. How is he doing?

For a moment, I wonder how he got the number. Then I recall it was on the registration form I filled out when I was joining Lou’s. I save his number to my phone before replying.

He’s okay. His right arm had to be amputated so he’s in the hospital. I can give you the room number. I’m sure he’d like to see everyone.

Oh shit. What hospital and what room?

I type the answer in time to look up and see the nurse walking out of Austin’s room. “He’s awake and asking for you,” she tells Moira.

Moira walks in first with Mom behind her. I trail closely behind as we step inside the brightly lit room. The foot of the bed catches my eye first. His legs are covered by a blanket, which stops at his chest. His left arm is there, but I glance across his chest to where his right arm should be and there’s nothing but a small nub. It’s bandaged well. My eyes fill with tears, but I know I need to stay strong.

Moira talks to him for a moment before my mom steps up. She does nothing but sob and I can feel my strength weakening. I’m standing in her shadow, afraid to step forward. I know she said he asked about me, but everything in my being is telling me to keep my distance for now.

“Ruston is here,” she tells him. I shoot her a look of disbelief. I wanted to step up to him on my terms, not be thrown into this.

“Ruston?” Austin says.

This is it. I step out of Mom’s shadow and face my cousin for the first time since the fight on Tamilyn’s lawn. “I’m here. I-I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t lie. I was pissed as hell at you that night, but I’d take it back if I could. She chooses you. I get it now. I thought I was going to die that night, and for some strange fucking reason my life was spared. I was reckless and irresponsible, and look what happened to me.” He sighs heavily. “Is Tamilyn here?”

“N-no. She came last night, but she couldn’t make it today.” I can’t stand to break it to him that she’s being too damn selfish to come see him. He’s actually in a good mood right now, and I don’t want to upset him.

“That’s okay. I know she’s busy. Did Mom tell you? They’re going to start fitting me for a prosthetic tomorrow. I loved the ink on that arm. I’m a little pissed about that, but there’s still a hint of it.” He points with his left hand.

“I’m just glad you’re alive.” I step toward his bed. I don’t care if he wants a hug or not, I give him one because he’s actually talking to me and he’s here. If I’d never seen him again, I’m not sure what I would have done. There’s guilt inside of me because of this injury, but if he had died, I’m not sure I could have survived it.

Chapter 31

Austin

My life changed the night I left Tamilyn’s in a rage of fury. I thought I had died but when I woke up, I was in a hospital staring numbly at a nurse. I remember feeling groggy and the pain returned. A muffled scream escaped and the nurse injected something into my IV. I remember falling back asleep and not waking up until the early hours of the morning. One look across my body and I could sense something was direly wrong. What the hell happened? Did I break a bone?

A nurse walks back in. I’m not sure if it’s the same nurse from earlier because I was so out of sync with things. “Ex-excuse me.”

“Yes, sir? Do you need anything? It’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?” My gaze roams over her body, taking in her luscious curves all the way up to her plump pink lips. Her brown curly hair is pulled back into a ponytail, making her baby blue eyes pop. At least this hospital seems

to be doing something right.

“I’m very sore.”

“That’s common with the surgery you had, Mr. Moran.”

“What surgery?” I squint my eyes, trying to understand. I don’t remember going through any surgery.

“Your right arm was amputated, Mr. Moran. We were waiting to tell you—”