“He took her fucking phone? He’s a fucking whack job, Raegan.”
“There’re two more messages. Want me to open them?”
I nod my head in silence, giving her the okay.
“Fourth message says, Lance, please ignore his message. I didn’t know he had my phone. I’ll hide it better next time.”
I can’t believe I’m hearing this. And I can’t believe she has to hide her phone.
“Fifth and last message says, I can’t believe I screwed this up and went back to him, but I can’t leave. I’m so sorry.”
“What does she mean, she can’t leave? Not long ago, she told me she left him and wanted me. That was before I fucked it up. So, how come she can’t leave now?”
“I have no clue. I’m taking her number, by the way. I’m going to talk to her, and don’t you dare stop me. Maybe he has some sort of hold on her. She needs help.”
“Take her number, I don’t care,” I mumble, hanging my head.
She scrunches her nose up in distaste. “Now that I know you are alive and well, I have to get to a doctor’s appointment. Well, first I have to pick up Garrett from Lou’s. You need to go talk to Howard. He’ll understand.”
“You sound just like my dad.”
“And we’re both right. We’ll check in on you later, and you better answer the phone.”
I wave my hand at her as she stands and walks out the door. I grab my phone and stare at the same messages she just read to me. The one Travis typed keeps playing over and over again in my head as I read it. She belongs to me, and she knows it.
She did tell me he was possessive and scary. He is certainly showing it now. I wonder why he wants to possess her if he is screwing other women.
Feeling brave, I type a message to her.
Hilary, you can tell that sorry asshole that his message doesn’t scare me. I hope you know you can leave at any time you want and he can’t stop y
ou. I know I fucked things up but if you’d accept my apology, I swear I will make it right.
Minutes pass before my phone vibrates, indicating a response.
I do accept your apology, Lance, and I wish like hell I’d have accepted it that night.
I ask her what she means, and then I wait. There is no response. She never replies, and it’s leaving me wondering what the hell is really going on. My heart races. What kind of hold does he have on her?
I text Raegan, letting her know what Hilary said, and she replies instantly, telling me she’s going to get to the bottom of this. I wonder how the hell she will do that. Hilary has only met her a handful of times, and if she won’t tell me what’s going on, I don’t know what makes Raegan think she will open up to her. Hilary and I at least have a past dealing with this kind of stuff, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.
I spend the rest of the day gorging on junk food, and waiting on any response from either Hilary or Raegan, but nothing ever comes. As the sun begins to set outside my bedroom window, I realize that both my dad and Raegan are right. I missed the hell out of going to the gym today, and my life feels empty without it. I can’t sit around every day like a worthless bum. It’s not me. Maybe not tomorrow, but one day soon, I’ll suck up my pride and go talk to Howard.
Chapter 9
The next few days go by in a blur. I haven’t moved from my room except to eat, run, and visit with my dad. I told him about my plans to go talk to Howard soon. I know I’m being a stubborn ass about it, but that’s just me. Maybe I want him to believe I really quit, that I’m never coming back. If he really knows me, though, then he knows it’s not true. Everyone knows it isn’t true.
Out of pure torture, I kept the messages from Hilary, and every damn night, I found myself staring at them over and over again looking for some sort of hidden encryption. I’ve found nothing. It’s pretty plain and simple. She’s sorry and she’s really chosen him and I’m a total, complete fuck up. I’m back to fucking random women in the bar, and I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I wanted to be the guy for her, but she doesn’t want me.
I stare at a picture of my mom and try to imagine what she would tell me to do in this crazy situation. Would she tell me to just give up on her and move on with my life? Or would she tell me to suck it up and fight for what I want? I’m positive she would tell me to fight for her. Fighting is what I do, in the ring and outside of the ring. Fighting is also what got me into this mess.
“Mom, I really don’t know what to do.” I sit on my bed, fixated on the photograph. “I’ve never felt so drawn to a woman. I’m not sure what it is about her, but she makes me want to change everything. I would change anything for her, but she won’t give me the chance. I just want to show her I can be a gentleman, like the guy I was to her back in high school. You raised me right, Mom. I know I haven’t always been the best guy in the world when it comes to women, but I want to be better.”
I stare back at the picture with tears forming in my eyes. It’s just a picture, and she can’t answer me. God, I’d give anything to be able to hear her voice again. I bring the picture to my lips and softly kiss her angelic face. “I love you, Momma.”
I tuck the picture gently into my wallet and set it on my nightstand. Lying back on my bed, I stare at the ceiling fan as it whirls around. The whirling of the fan reminds me of my life. One huge swirling vortex of chaos. Chaos is taking over and ruining everything for me, so I’m putting my foot down. It’s time to overcome the chaos and turn things around. First thing in the morning, I’m setting things straight. I’ll go to Lou’s to talk to Howard. Then, I don’t give a flying fuck what Travis says, I’m talking to Hilary.
***