Sucker Punch (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 27)

“How can gentle be satisfying to you, Nicky?” Olaf asked.

“The first time was gentle, and sometimes it still is, but the bondage we do together is RACK.”

“I do not know the term,” Olaf said.

“Risk-aware consensual kink, RACK,” Nicky said.

“I prefer the term edge play,” I said, “but RACK is more descriptive, I guess.”

I fought not to squirm, because it had taken me a long time to be comfortable with just how much I enjoyed rough sex and bondage. I still wasn’t entirely happy that was part of my sexual orientation, but I was working in therapy at accepting all of myself, and that was part of me. You didn’t get to pick and choose your sexual orientation. You could choose not to act on it, but it was still what flipped your switch. It didn’t go away because you stopped doing it or tried not to start doing it.

“Does Anita do this with anyone else?” Olaf asked.

Angel raised her hand, smiling.

“I’ve co-topped Angel and Anita with Nathaniel,” Nicky said.

“I’m really not wanting to do details in front of everyone in this room,” I said. I was fighting not to blush, but since it’s an involuntary thing, I was losing.

Nicky smiled at me. “You are so uncomfortable with the things you enjoy in the dungeon.”

I nodded. “Yep. Yep, I am.”

“I thought Nathaniel was an extreme submissive,” Olaf said, “even a pain slut.”

“He can be,” Nicky and I said together. We shared a smile over it.

“Are you telling me that you have sex with Nathaniel?” Olaf asked.

“I think that’s for you, Nicky,” I said. “He knows I’m with Nathaniel.”

“It could be aimed at me,” Angel said.

“I assumed you were having sex with the men in St. Louis,” Olaf said.

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I’m not doing all of them. Even I have my limits.”

“Hell, so do I,” I said.

Angel grinned at me, all pleased mischief. “We can’t sleep with everyone.”

I shook my head. “I know I can’t.”

“Are you having sex with Nathaniel, Nicky?” Olaf asked.

“I don’t fuck him. He helps me top and fuck Anita and sometimes Angel with her.”

“It’s a recent addition,” I said, and realized I was still embarrassed about it. I sighed. Would I ever really be comfortable with what I enjoyed in the bedroom or the dungeon?

“I did not think Anita would submit to or bottom for anyone,” Olaf said.

“Neither did I, honestly,” I said, and I was doing my best not to make eye contact with anyone.

“Is it only with Nicky?”

I glanced up at Olaf and then back down at some vague point in the middle of the room. “No, it’s not just with him.”

“Who else?”