‘Sorry. Bad night. It won’t happen again.’
I spent a couple of hours trying to occupy my mind and my hands with menial tasks in the bookshop but all I could do was think of that damned letter that I kept reciting to myself. Halfway through the morning Fermín came over to me surreptitiously and offered me a Sugus sweet.
‘Today’s the day, isn’t it?’
‘Shut up, Fermín,’ I shot back at him, so brusquely that my father raised his eyebrows.
I took refuge in the back room and heard them murmuring. I sat at my father’s desk and stared at the clock. It was one twenty in the afternoon. I tried to let the minutes go by but the hands of the clock seemed unwilling to move. When I returned to the shop Fermín and my father gave me a worried look.
‘Daniel, you might like to take the rest of the day off,’ said my father, ‘Fermín and I will manage on our own.’
‘Thanks. I think I will. I’ve hardly slept and I’m not feeling very well.’
I didn’t have the courage to look at Fermín as I slipped out through the back room. I walked up the five flights of stairs with leaden feet. When I opened the front door of the apartment I heard water running in the bathroom. I dragged myself to the bedroom and stopped in the doorway. Bea was sitting on the edge of the bed. She hadn’t seen me or heard me come in. I watched her as she slipped on her silk stockings and got dressed with her eyes fixed on the mirror. She didn’t notice my presence for a couple of minutes.
‘I didn’t know you were there,’ she said halfway between surprise and irritation.
‘Are you going out?’
She nodded as she put on scarlet lipstick.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I have a couple of errands to do.’
‘You’re looking very pretty.’
‘I don’t like going out looking a mess,’ she replied.
I regarded her as she applied her eyeshadow. ‘A fortunate man,’ said the sarcastic voice.
‘What errands?’ I asked.
Bea turned to look at me.
‘What?’
‘I was asking you what errands you have to do.’
‘A few things. This and that.’
‘And Julián?’
‘My mother came to fetch him. She’s taken him out for a walk.’
‘I see.’
Bea came closer and, putting aside her irritation, gave me a worried look.
‘Daniel, what’s the matter with you?’
‘I didn’t sleep a wink last night.’
‘Why don’t you take a nap? It will do you good.’
‘Good idea,’ I agreed.
Smiling wanly, Bea took me round to my side of the bed. She helped me lie down, covered me with the bedspread and gave me a kiss on the forehead.