The Protege

Eyes glowing, she does, and I hear that sweet sound again after all these years. Isabeau. Isabeau happy. It’s tentative, she’s still not sure if I’ll do what she’s asking, but she’s hopeful and I hear it and it’s the most wonderful sound in the world. When she finishes I step forward and cup her chin lightly with my hand.

“Beautiful,” I murmur. She melts before my eyes, all the tension going out of her body and she angles her face into the warmth of my hand. Sweet girl. I didn’t see before how submissive she was. It would have been wrong to see it. But I see it now.

Do you like that, daddy?

Yes. Yes I like that.

I step away, pretending to be considering what she’s asked for but really trying to gather my thoughts. I put a hand on the glossy black piano top, knowing I have to be serious, to be stern, but aching to tell her how happy I am that she’s come here today and said all this.

I turn back to her. “All right. You’ve told me what you want. Now I’m going to tell you my conditions.”

She looks at me expectantly, so different from the look of fear that’s been in her eyes until now.

“You will remember that I’m a thorough man. If you are to take this part in my orchestra and become my protégé again then I’m going to be strict with you. More strict than before, because this is more serious than before. This is my work. You’ll be one of my musicians answering to me. Are you prepared for that?”

She nods, and I wait pointedly.

“Yes, Laszlo.”

“The things I tell you to do won’t be a negotiation. I’m not asking for your opinion, I’m demanding your obedience.”

Almost under her breath, she says, “No one talks back to the conductor.”

“I beg your pardon?”

She shakes her head quickly. “Nothing.”

Little tease. She always did have an impish streak and I have to fight to keep a straight face even though my heart is bursting. She’s smiling, her color’s back. My sweet girl is happy.

With a calmness I don’t feel I take out my notebook, turn it to a fresh page and hand it to her with a pen. “Three years away at university you will have picked up bad habits. Write down for me your schedule. When you practice. When you sleep. When you eat. Everything.”

She accepts the book and pen from me and starts to write. I go and stand on the other side of the room, leaning against the window ledge, arms folded. I never used to be so obviously controlling with her but the point is that she feels someone cares what she’s doing with her time. Questions race through my mind. What has she been doing with her time? What else would be good for her? How do I keep a level head right now when all I want to do is scoop her into my arms and kiss her? Isabeau wants my control, my dominant side, the part of myself that I keep tightly leashed almost all of the time. I see Isabeau sitting naked at my feet, her expression radiant with submission, and arousal surges through me. How perfect that would be. How I want that, more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.

But Isabeau hasn’t asked for that and this isn’t about what I want. I take a deep breath and push the seductive image away.

When she’s finished I give the outline she’s written out a cursory glance and then close the notebook. “All right. Leave that with me.”

“No lectures? It’s terrible. I can see that from your face.”

“I said leave that with me, Isabeau.” I wait for a beat, watching her closely. Then I sit down on the piano stool again and say, in a gentler tone of voice, “I’m going to send you an email about the tour and I want you to think about it, and about being my protégé again, and if you want both. If you want just one, or neither, that’s fine. I’ll still want us to be close, if you do.” I smile, my eyes running over her face. I’ve missed her so much, my beautiful girl, and now she’s here. “And I want you to know I’m so happy to see you, sweetheart.”

Her eyes get very bright and she reaches down and fumbles with her cello case, letting her hair fall in front of her face. I want to reach out to her, hold her, but it’s still so tentative between us. It’s important that she doesn’t make a quick decision or feel like it’s the only way we can have a relationship again. I need her in my life and I’m afraid that if we reach for too much too soon we’ll lose everything again.