Simon reached for her hands and pulled her close, her body gliding through the water until she was close enough to lay her palms on his chest and look into his eyes.
“Why did you close the door on us?” he demanded.
This wasn’t what she wanted to discuss. All she wanted to do was hold off the inevitable. Hold off the fights and the goodbyes that she knew in her heart were in store for them.
“Let’s just enjoy the moment,” she breathed.
“No. Not until I get an answer from you,” he said. “I’ve been in hell these past few weeks.”
Guilt wracked her. She had never given him an explanation, because talking about ending things would be like reopening a wound. They hadn’t even talked about their first breakup all those years ago. When she had closed the door on them weeks ago she had known it must have been a surprise for Simon. But she hadn’t anticipated that he would be in this much pain over it.
“I never meant to hurt you,” she finally said, her lower lip trembling. “None of this was supposed to happen.”
“But it has happened,” he said. “There’s something between us. Pretending otherwise hasn’t worked. Especially not tonight.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone to the reunion until we talked things out,” she said. “The reason I kept my distance and moved on so quickly, was so I didn’t cause any more pain for either of us. Staying professional was working.”
“Not for long.” His jaw clenched. “We tried things your way and I can’t keep my hands off you. And I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to either,” she said softly.
“So why?” he demanded. “Why did you end things without an explanation?”
She took a deep breath and let out a long exhale. “I ended things because I have to focus on my family now. Getting a divorce was a mutual agreement, but I don’t think Gary has been taking things well.”
“He tried to punish you for moving on from him.” Simon scowled. “That isn’t fair to you.”
“Fair or not, it’s what I have to deal with right now,” she said. “But, as hard as the divorce was on me and Gary, it’s been hardest on Finn. Gary took Finn away from me.” Slowly, she set her forehead against his and closed her eyes. “I wouldn’t have gotten Finn back without your help and I’ll never forget what you did for me, Simon. I’ll be grateful to you for the rest of my life.”
“I can be there for you,” he said. “Let me protect you.”
“You can protect me, but you can’t protect my son,” she said. “Protecting Finn is my job, not yours. If you and I get into a relationship, Gary will hold it against me. Which means he’ll take it out on Finn.” She opened her eyes. “Maybe years from now, when Gary has gotten over it, we could try again, but right now I can’t lose my son. I won’t.”
Agony lanced through her heart and she pulled back, lowering her eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears start to roll down her cheeks. Saying goodbye to Simon a second time had been the hardest thing she had ever done. But if this raw ache was the price she had to pay to protect her son, she would pay it. Every day for the rest of her life if she had to.
“Look at me, Heather,” he ordered.
Reluctantly, she did as he told her, facing him with all the sadness she had bottled up now spilling over. With gentle strokes, he brushed his thumb across her cheeks, wiping her tears away.
“You deserve to be happy,” he said forcefully. “Gary never made you happy. I saw how he talked to you. No man should ever speak to you like that. Ever.”
Wanting to get even closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and their bodies met, a sudden tangle of limbs. Her legs wrapping around his waist, his arms wrapping around her body, holding her fast.
His mouth took hers in a kiss so demanding she arched her back, pulling him to her. She didn’t know how he had the strength to do it, but with his tongue still swirling into her mouth he gripped her ass and walked up the steps out of the pool, her legs still wrapped around him.
Somehow, they managed to get into the elevator and stumbled into his apartment, barely stopping to breathe as the kiss went on until he slammed the front door shut.