“What do you mean? We used to talk all the time back in high school.”
She shook her head. “Things were easier back then. We were always in sync. We started off as friends. Then I realized I liked you and I finally told you. Then you asked me out. It was so much simpler then, Simon.”
“I suppose it was.”
“Then, after you broke up with me, everything changed,” she breathed.
He frowned. “Our breakup was more a mutual decision, if I remember correctly.”
His obliviousness was starting to rub her the wrong way. It was like he had gone off to Stanford to start an amazing life and she had been left behind, stuck with a heartbreak that almost ruined her life. Even now he couldn’t see how hard it was for her to even consider having a relationship with any man, because her heart was still so fragile. So fragile after he had so callously broken it without a backward glance.
“Simon, you dumped me,” she said. “You weren’t cruel about it, but it definitely wasn’t mutual.”
“That can’t be right.” He sipped his coffee. “I had just graduated, and you encouraged me go to Stanford. To follow my dreams of working with technology.”
“I did say that but, weeks before, I thought we’d agreed to stay together in a long-distance relationship.” She sighed. “Then, you dumped me out of the blue and went off to California.”
“Heather, I was trying to free you,” he said, confused and yet remembering how it felt for him. “I know it must’ve hurt, but I thought it was what you wanted. Your last year of high school should’ve been spent having fun. Not obsessing over someone thousands of miles away.”
That was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Him pinning his decision on her was too much. Frustration welled up inside her. For years she had carried the heavy weight of her pain on her shoulders. Carried the weight she’d never been able to put down. Even now her shoulders were sagging underneath the strain of so much pent-up tension.
In anger she jumped to her feet and whirled around to face him. “How dare you try to blame your decision on me.”
“What? I’m not blaming you.” He held up his hands. “Look, you’re obviously upset from something that happened a long time ago. Why don’t you take a deep breath and—”
“No,” she said forcefully. “After years of nothing from you, now you want to try to pretend like you didn’t practically run away from me the minute you got the chance?”
“I didn’t run away,” he insisted.
“Then why didn’t you ever call me?” she demanded. “Why didn’t you send me an e-mail? You must’ve heard about my wedding, because I’m pretty sure my mother told your mother about it. We were best friends for over ten years and you just bailed on me.” She snapped her fingers. “Poof. You were gone, enjoying your university crushes and parties, while I was left to remember everything about you everywhere I looked.
He reached his hand out to her and she stepped back. Away from him trying to comfort her or placate her. She had kept her hurt and anger to herself for so long that now she was just lashing out. Unleashing her heartbreak so that he could finally see how much he had hurt her.
“I...” He paused to clear his throat. “I didn’t call, because while I was in college I put Seattle behind me. I was so focused on getting my degree. I put my head down and worked. I didn’t party or—”
“But you came back to Seattle,” she said.
“I did.” He heaved out a loud sigh. “But by then I found out you had moved on with your life. I don’t remember getting any concrete details about you, but I knew enough to know that you probably had your own life and were over me.”
“I never got over you.” Her breath hitched. “I’m so stupid. We broke up years ago, but I’m still not over it. Still not over wondering what would have happened if we had stayed together. What would my life be like if I had ended up with you and not Gary?”
“Is that why you never got over things? Because Gary was a bad husband?”
Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision. It felt like there was a knot in her chest and she had to force air into her lungs. Remind herself to breathe. “I started dating Gary so that I could get over you.”