He reached for the cup of espresso on his table and took a sip. “If it bothers you that much, maybe I can have a talk with him.”
She gave him an incredulous look. “What are you going to tell him? That you don’t want him to turn into a spoiled brat?”
Simon set the cup back down and focused his attention on her, his piercing eyes almost making her lose her train of thought. “Okay, why don’t you tell me what this is really about? Let me guess—you don’t want to look like the bad guy while I get to be the good guy because I spend money on Finn.”
Surprise made her mouth fall open. “That’s remarkably observant.” She leaned back in the comfortable chair, stretching her legs out in front of her. The jet’s leg room alone was going to spoil her. “Honestly, that hadn’t been my thought, but maybe deep down that’s what has been troubling me. I’m so used to Gary disappointing Finn that I’ve always just ended up being the good guy. The good parent by default.”
“You are the good parent, and not by default,” Simon insisted. “I swear I’m not trying to replace you or Gary. I’ll back off if that’s what you think Finn needs.”
She shook her head. “I’m probably just freaking out a little because Gary is the only man I’ve been with for most of Finn’s life. Bringing a boyfriend home is so new. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“There’s no way you could do that,” he said. “Every parent makes mistakes—but take it from me, Heather, your son is lucky to have you. I know what bad parents look like and you’re the farthest thing from that.”
“This process has probably been difficult for you, too,” she said.
Confusion flashed in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve had a difficult relationship with your parents since you were a kid, and now you’ve been pushed into this entirely new relationship with a child. That probably brings back a lot of difficult childhood memories for you.”
“It probably has brought things back subconsciously,” he admitted. “I guess I want to avoid doing whatever my parents did. I’d really like to be a good role model for Finn, but at the same time I don’t want to overstep. I don’t want to tell him what to do or try to be his dad or anything like that.”
“Sounds like a tricky balance,” she said. “On the one hand you want to be a good presence for him, but you also don’t want to overshadow his dad.”
“That’s right. Finn obviously misses his father, and I never want him to feel like I’m replacing him,” Simon said.
She let out a deep sigh. “It’s hard to replace a man who’s rarely present. Gary has hurt Finn so much, and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I think it would be better if Gary just stayed out of Finn’s life for good. He’s fighting to get full custody without even trying to spend time with his son.”
“That’s got to be confusing for Finn,” Simon murmured.
“Not only confusing,” she said. “Gary’s behavior hurts Finn. Gives him false hope. I mean,
Finn is heartbroken that his father doesn’t spend time with him, but he gets so hopeful because once in a while his father will call or send a card. That just raises his hopes again and I know they’ll just be crushed later down the line.”
“Does Finn know his father wants full custody?” Simon asked.
Her eyes snapped shut as the pain flooded her. Finn was just six years old. Explaining the details of a legal battle was almost impossible. She had tried to explain that his father might want to spend more time with him, but how could she tell her son that this legal battle could mean that they got ripped apart?
No. She wasn’t going to let that happen. Wasn’t going to let Gary take her son away from her. That’s what this vacation was about. Spending time with her son. Making memories with him that would strengthen her for the legal battle ahead. Because she did not plan on giving Finn up. Not ever.
“No, he doesn’t know.” She opened her eyes slowly. “I still don’t know how to explain it to him. The divorce was so painful for him. Finn cried himself to sleep for weeks.” Tears filled her eyes and she bit back a sob.