“Yes, and I’m really sorry, but I can’t do it.”
He sat there, his mouth hanging open. “Can I ask why?”
“There’s just… too much history there. Too many… raw wounds.”
He shook his head. “Most kids in your position would sell their fucking soul for this chance.”
“Yeah, well…” I said, my voice trailing off. “Are there any other positions open I could interview for?”
“No,” he snapped. “This is it.”
“Oh… well, thank you for your time, anyway,” I said, and gathered my things and stood.
He stood up at the same time. His anger was quickly turning into the beginning stages of panic. “Wait – don’t you want to think about it? Give it some time to marinate – ”
“No,” I said, and forced a smile. “Thank you, though.”
“Just think about it!” he urged me.
“If I change my mind, I’ll call you,” I said as I opened the glass door to his office and backed out. “Thanks again. Sorry.”
Then I ran down the hallway as fast as I could, and dashed into the stairwell rather than wait for the elevator.
I was afraid he might come running after me.
I was even more afraid he might talk me into it.
13
I stumbled out of the Rolling Stone building and onto the street.
I was furious.
At Glen…
At myself…
At Rolling Stone…
At Fate…
…but mostly at a certain former college roommate.
I whipped out my phone and dialed.
“Hey, Kaitlyn, what up?” Shanna answered.
“What the fuck?!” I yelled at her, loud enough that the jaded New Yorkers on the street gave me a wide berth as they hustled by.
“Ohhhhhhh,” she said in that apologetic voice she used back in freshman year when she brought two guys home in the same week. “You talked to Glen, huh.”
“YEAH, I talked to Glen,” I barked. “What the fuck, Shanna?!”
“Look, I was just looking out for you – ”
“What, by pimping me out to magazine editors?”
“Oh, God, don’t be so melodramatic,” she sighed.
“How did the two of you meet, exactly?”
“At a party.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
She cackled on the other end. “Oh my God, NO. I DO have standards, you know.”
This was the first I’d heard of them.
Actually, that’s not fair. Most of Shanna’s conquests tended to be fairly good-looking. They just usually lacked employment, intelligence, and any sort of future.
“Look, I know you’re pissed, but… meet me at the Forum for a drink and let me explain.”
“Explain what?” I seethed. “Selling my memories to guys you’re not even sleeping with?”
“No, trying to help jumpstart your career – which, by the sound of it, YOU’RE not even willing to do.”
Ouch.
“Fuck you.”
“Come on… what do you say? The Forum, 8 o’clock? Let me buy you a drink.”
I grumbled and mumbled, then said, “You can buy me two.”
She laughed. “And to think, this is the thanks I get for hooking you up with Rolling Stone. What are you going to do if I get you a gig at Newsweek?”
“Probably kill you,” I conceded, my fury lessening a little.
“Probably. The Forum, 8 o’clock, okay?”
“You’re buying.”
“First round only. After that, we’ll see,” she laughed.
“…okay,” I mumbled, then hung up.
It was a little bit ridiculous to be angry at somebody who had just gotten me an interview with Rolling Stone.
For a cover article, no less.
But I was bound and determined to hang onto my anger for as long as I could.
No matter how illogical it was.
14
Four Years Ago
Shanna was cold as ice to me the next morning – and it wasn’t just her hangover. She gave me the glare of death the entire time I was getting ready, though she didn’t say anything.
Finally I turned around and blurted out, “I didn’t sleep with him.”
“What a coincidence,” she sneered. “Neither did I.”
I hustled out of there as fast as possible and went to my English class.
I know Shanna was pissed, and she had every right to be – but it’s not like I’d wangled a hot new boyfriend out of the deal.
In fact, I was absolutely sure I would never see him again.
Not like ‘see’ as in ‘go out on a date with,’ either.
‘See’ as in ‘run into around town.’
I had resigned myself to that fact for many reasons.
He was an incredibly good-looking guy (incredibly good-looking), in a band, cool, charismatic, funny, surprisingly smart – and he was used to picking up women and sleeping with them the same night.