I did, but I wasn’t about to admit it.
“You can’t claim to save me when you’re the one who put me in danger.”
“Danger?!” he exclaimed in mock offense. “I’m not dangerous, I’m good luck. You should always follow my advice.”
“Yeah, I can imagine what that advice would be.”
“Can you now?” he said with a seductive smile.
I’m pretty sure it would include clothes flying off and naked bodies writhing around.
Then I imaged his naked body – muscular, gorgeous, absolutely perfect –
STOP it.
“Yeah,” I said, and tried to sound as disapproving as possible. “Somehow, I think following your advice would be a recipe for disaster.”
He looked thoughtful as soon as I said it. “That’s good… I should write a song called ‘Recipe For Disaster.’”
“You should name your band ‘Recipe For Disaster.’”
“How complimentary of you!” he said mockingly.
“I try.”
“But we’ve already got a name.”
“Which is…?”
“Inward Spiral.”
Okay, that was the best possible answer he could have given me.
It’s a lot easier to ignore a gorgeous, buff, Greek god’s advances when he starts talking about his pretentiously named garage band.
I tried to be polite, though. “Um… okay, that’s very…”
I must have made a face, because he became ever-so defensive. “Very what?”
I paused.
“Don’t all spirals go inwards?” I asked.
“Well, they normally go down,” he said in his deep, smoky voice.
Now I was thinking of him going down on me… those sensual lips kissing me beneath my waist…
STOP IT.
I forced myself to grimace. “What a clever double entendre.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” he said with faux innocence.
I gave him a tight little smile and squinted like, Suuuuure you don’t.
“Are you one of those chicks?” he asked.
Again, best possible answer he could have given. I can deal with double entendres, but he was being sleazily brazen. I imagined him as one of those guys who unzipped his pants and expected girls to service them, and it offended me.
Unfortunately, the idea of unzipping his pants also excited me, too.
“One of those chicks who go down?” I asked angrily – a little too angrily. I must have sounded like the uptight prude from hell.
He grinned. “I wasn’t going there, but, sure, if you want to volunteer that information – ”
“I don’t.”
“Don’t do it, or don’t – ”
“Don’t volunteer that information,” I snapped.
“Okay, then, I was talking about super-literal, anal retentive chicks who talk about spirals going inward.”
“NO.”
He could tell he was getting on my nerves.
He could also probably tell I had been getting a little hot and bothered.
He seemed to be getting off on both of those things… but he played it smart and backed off. “I agree… it’s not the greatest name ever. If you think of a better one, let me know.”
“Recipe For Disaster,” I deadpanned.
He laughed. “It’s a little too home ec for a band name. But I’ll consider writing a song.”
“Oh, you’ll deign to consider it, huh? Thanks,” I scoffed.
“Has anybody ever told you you can be a little bit prickly?”
He didn’t say it in a pissed-off way. More like he was talking to a hilarious three-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.
“Has anybody ever told you you can be really inappropriate?” I retorted.
He grinned. “You’re the first, actually.”
“Okay, then, let’s make it official: you’re being really inappropriate.”
“Right now?”
“No, not right now,” I said in exasperation.
“Then when? What did I say?”
I glared at him and went back to folding my laundry in silence.
No way I was going to bring up anything about anybody going down on anybody else.
“I’ll watch what I say from now on, I promise,” he said, amused.
“Thank you,” I snapped.
We continued like that, me folding laundry, him just watching in silence, for another ten seconds. That doesn’t sound like much time, but when you’re experiencing enormous attraction towards someone and know you shouldn’t, and they’re obviously flirting with you, and both of you are fully aware of what the other person is thinking – ten seconds is hella long.
The entire time, I could feel the sexual tension building – both in the air, and in my own body. Which made me even crankier, since I knew one of the two wasn’t going to get released any time soon.