But…
…if we never kissed…
…and we never touched…
…and we never had sex…
…was it really cheating?
Of course it was. It was ‘emotional’ cheating.
But since Kevin and I were broken up, ‘emotional’ cheating seemed like it wasn’t really cheating at all.
And if I kept things in control… which I was totally sure I could do… then what was wrong with going to his stupid band thing? Why, it was probably a great idea for me to go – his band probably sucked! His friend was probably a douchebag! They were probably talentless, deluded fuck-ups who would never amount to anything! If I went and saw all that, the spell would be broken! Derek would just be an insanely hot guy with no future, no talent, and nothing going for him beyond looks!
And charm.
And charisma.
And smarts.
But ultimately that was the deciding factor in my decision: if I went, I was only going so that I could wreck my daydreamy vision of him. I was going to uncover the facts, like all good reporters should. I was going to find out the Truth.
So I decided to go.
It didn’t quite turned out like I’d planned.
23
Shanna was back in our dorm room at 2:20 the next afternoon, giving me more Go fuck yourself and die looks. I watched my phone nervously until it was 2:26, then said, “Bye,” and left. I fake-opened the stairwell and let the door close, and then crept back and started my stake-out. My room was the last one on the hall, right by the stairwell. It was also thirty feet away from the intersection with another hall, which is where I set up camp. I wasn’t sure what direction Derek would show up from, so I wanted to cover all the bases.
Unfortunately, he came out of the stairwell and saw me just as I saw him – and before I could put a finger to my lips.
“Well, aren’t you rarin’ to go,” he said happily – and loudly – two feet away from my dorm room door.
SHIT.
“Shhh,” I whispered, and hustled over to him.
He frowned at me. “What’s wrong?” he whispered back.
“Nothing, let’s just – ”
My door swung open, and there stood Shanna in all her righteously outraged glory.
I swear, if her rain-of-death looks hadn’t made me wilt, her next words surely would have.
“Ohhhh,” she sneered, “the cock-blocker and the man-whore, together again. Just like old times.”
My stomach felt like it was going to turn inside-out. “Shanna, it’s not like that – ”
“Riiight, it’s not like that at all, otherwise why would you be out here sneaking around and whispering and running away?!”
Derek had been watching the whole scene with amused surprise. But at this point, he got a resolute look on his face and stepped towards my roommate.
“Shanna, I got something I gotta say to you.”
There was a second’s worth of uncertainty on Shanna’s part, and then the acid was back in her voice. She crossed her arms judgmentally. “What.”
“I’m in love with your roommate.”
Shanna’s eyes bugged out of her skull.
I know I felt like somebody had sucker-punched me, that was for sure. All the air rushed out of my lungs, and my knees buckled.
Derek had his back to me and couldn’t see my expression. I think that was by design.
“I didn’t plan it, and I don’t really know if she likes me,” he continued in utmost sincerity, “but I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her.”
Shanna looked at me, her expression caught somewhere between You BITCH and Oh my god this is freaking me out, what the fuck is going on?!
He kept going. “I’m sorry if I was a dick to you. No – not ‘if ’ – I was a dick to you. And I’m sorry. But I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between you and her. You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway – we haven’t kissed, she totally doesn’t trust me, and basically all we’re doing is going on a bunch of Disney dates where nothing’s gonna happen. So – you wanna come along?”
I about yelled WHAT?! when he said the last part about inviting her. I managed to keep my mouth shut… though I think my expression gave me away.
Shanna was totally and completely flabbergasted. “I… I, uh…”
Derek pressed right on ahead.
“Look, my best friend is the bassist. It’s just going to be me, him, and Kaitlyn. He’s a really good guy, he’s pretty good-looking – not as good as me, but, hey, who is?” he added, cocky as hell. I could hear him grinning as he said it. “He’s taller than me, and he’s kind of shy, and you two might hit it off. I don’t know – and you won’t, either, unless you try. So do you wanna come or not?”