And it was absolutely, one hundred percent true.
“Bye,” he said, and then shut the car door and walked towards the house. He waved at me and made a Shoo, shoo, move along motion, and I put the car in reverse.
I watched him disappear safely into the house, though, before I pulled out into the street.
My heart was heavy the entire time.
34
It was about 9PM when Shanna and I made our way up to our dorm room. Our voices echoed through the stairwell as we talked.
“I’m just saying he’s hot. You should do him,” Shanna said.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“No you don’t – you broke up!”
“We’re getting back together.”
At SOME point.
“But you’re not with him now. While you’re still single, you should totally – ”
“No.”
“Come on – it doesn’t have to be so serious. Just think of it like chocolate and indulge yourself – ”
“NO.”
“Why not?”
“Because… because I love my boyfriend,” I said feebly. “And I don’t want to do anything to hurt the relationship we have.”
“The same relationship you guys have ended, like, six times since October?”
Ouch.
“I don’t want anyone else but Kevin,” I lied through my teeth.
“Give me a break – I’m sure your EX boyfriend is great, but he’s not that great.”
I turned back to Shanna as I opened the door to the hallway.
“Yes he is! Kevin is… he’s a really good person.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” a familiar voice said.
35
Kevin.
I whirled around, saw him, and actually screamed.
Not loud, and not long, but seeing him standing there scared the hell out of me.
Probably because of what I was thinking about Derek. The scream was partially from guilt, like I was subconsciously afraid Kevin could read my thoughts.
He stepped away from the duffel bag lying on the floor next to our locked dorm room. In his hand he had a dozen wilted roses wrapped in cellophane.
“Kevin?!” I said, absolutely astounded.
“Hi,” he said sheepishly, then handed over the flowers. “Sorry they’re wilted… but I’ve been here awhile,” he said, adding in a little passive-aggressive kick at the end.
I took the roses apprehensively. “…thank you…”
Shanna bolted through the door and into the hall, eager as a little kid trying to catch a glimpse of a Christmastime mall Santa.
As soon as she saw him, though, her expression turned to shock.
I knew what she was thinking. Kevin was cute, but nowhere close to hot. He had an unruly shock of brown hair and was pretty thin. He was maybe a half-inch taller than me, which meant I didn’t wear heels around him often. It made him feel short and self-conscious.
He was a nice-looking guy.
But he was no Derek Kane.
Kevin saw Shanna and immediately his expression frosted over.
“Is this the roommate?” he asked me as he looked her over with obvious distaste.
“‘The roommate’?!” Shanna said indignantly.
It was rude referring to her in the third person like that, especially to her face. Not to mention examining her like she was a thing.
But I knew why he was reacting that way: it was all the sex and debauchery stories I’d told him at the beginning of the year… before I’d learned better.
I ignored the freeze between him and Shanna. “What are you doing here?!” I asked in astonishment.
“I… I was a jerk,” he said, and put on his best set of puppy-dog eyes. “I came to apologize.”
“You drove fifteen hours to apologize?!”
“Dude, pick up a phone,” Shanna snarked.
Kevin glared at her with unbridled hatred, then turned back to me with a self-righteous glint in his eyes. “I did. Somebody didn’t call me back.”
Shit.
He had been leaving texts and phone messages the last couple of days… but I hadn’t returned them.
Not because I was angry about the breakup, but because I was busy.
And feeling horribly guilty.
Both courtesy of a certain six-foot-tall someone who shall remain nameless.
“I’m sorry, I should have returned your calls,” I apologized, more out of habit – and my guilt over Derek – than anything else.
“Yes, you should have,” he said petulantly.
Shanna was looking at me like she could not be-lieve what she was hearing.
Then she rounded on Kevin.
“DUDE, you broke up with her! She doesn’t owe you jack shit!”
Kevin started to lose it. “Can we go talk somewhere private without the foul-mouthed slut?”