I shifted uncomfortably on the trunk and wouldn’t look at him. “…yeah. It was nice.”
“It was ‘nice’? That’s it, that’s all you’ve got to say?”
I scowled at him. “What do you want to hear, about how much crazy sex we had?”
He winced just the slightest. Barely enough to detect – but it was there.
I liked seeing him react like that.
And that worried me a little.
But he played it off.
“No, I definitely don’t want to hear about that,” he said in a tone like I had just suggested I tell him all about feminine hygiene products.
“Well… we didn’t, anyway, so there’s nothing to hear about,” I mumbled, and immediately thought, Why the hell did I just say that?
Derek looked at me like I had an alien growing out of my forehead. “You didn’t have sex?”
“N-no, we had sex,” I stuttered.
And I thought of you so I could come.
I blushed furiously.
Thank God it was too dark for him to see it.
“So why’d you say you didn’t?” he asked, puzzled.
“I… it just wasn’t crazy sex, that’s all,” I said, blushing even harder.
“Ohhhhhh,” he said knowingly, and sipped on his drink as punctuation. “Yeah.”
“What does that mean?”
He grinned. “No offense to your boyfriend, but… I don’t exactly see that guy making you scream his name over and over.”
That got me angry. “For your information, he’s very good in bed.”
I mean, I thought Kevin was good in bed.
I’d only been with one guy – him – so I didn’t have much to compare him to. But I was happy.
Or… I’d been happy before this weekend.
Well… minus a half-dozen breakups or so.
Derek started to say something – then caught himself and raised a hand in a conciliatory gesture. “My bad. I shouldn’t be bagging on your boyfriend. Sorry.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just mumbled, “…apology accepted.”
“Cool.”
“Besides,” I said in a voice that was probably close to lecturing, “it’s not all about sex.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
What the hell does THAT mean? I thought, but was afraid to go there.
“Besides, we… we have a lot of history,” I said. “We’ve been together three and a half years.”
Derek whistled. “Damn, that’s a long time.”
“Yeah, for somebody who can’t make it past three days,” I teased him.
“Hey – I don’t bag on your boyfriend, you don’t bag on me,” he said good-naturedly.
“…fair enough,” I agreed.
We ate in silence for another ten seconds… but something compelled me to keep opening my mouth and talking.
“And I’m going to Syracuse next year, and we’re both going to be journalists – ”
Derek looked as though somebody had punched him. “Whoa – wait up. You’re going there, too?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean, you’re going to school there?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Not just to visit?”
“…yeah,” I said, taken aback by how shocked he seemed. “Next fall.”
He was frowning now. “Why?”
He was starting to freak me out a little. “Because it has an awesome journalism school.”
“I thought UGA had a really good one.”
“It does… but Syracuse is better. I think. Plus, Kevin’s there – that was our plan ever since we were juniors in high school – ”
Derek put down his food as though he’d lost his appetite.
I stared at him. “Are you okay?”
He stayed silent for several seconds.
“No, not really,” he finally said.
My stomach began to tighten.
“…what’s wrong?”
“‘What’s wrong?’” He looked at me like I was clueless. “The girl I’m totally in love with is leaving next week to go a thousand miles away, that’s what’s wrong.”
As soon as he said the girl I’m totally in love with, my heart almost broke through my ribs.
I put down my food, too. I suddenly wasn’t hungry, either.
“I’m not actually going next week,” I mumbled. “I’m just… going home…”
“You know what I mean.”
I did.
“…I thought you knew,” I said quietly. “About next year.”
“No, you kind of neglected to tell me that part.”
“What did you think I was going to do?”
“I thought you were going to go back home for the summer, and you’d eventually break up with him, and then you’d be back here in the fall. With me.”