There he was, chest and arms delicious under his tight-fitting tee.
Well, well, looks like one of his bitches gave his shirt back to him.
“Do you know what time it is?” I asked angrily, the image of him half-naked on the dance floor fueling my ire.
He looked at me from head to toe, a little surprised.
I was suddenly aware that I had no makeup on – and that the only thing I was wearing was an oversized t-shirt that barely reached halfway down my thighs.
He hadn’t seen me without makeup since, oh, the very first time we’d met.
And he hadn’t seen me in this little clothing since the night we’d spent together.
I suddenly felt very vulnerable and a little self-conscious…
…until he pulled off his sunglasses and smiled, turning the full force of those emerald green eyes on me.
“You know, you look great with makeup on… but you’re absolutely stunning without it.”
Heat rose up inside me, and the iceberg inside my chest thawed a little.
But he wasn’t getting off that easy.
“I said, do you know what time it is?” I repeated, annoyed.
“Yeah. It’s time to talk,” he said, and pushed past me into my room.
“Hey!” I almost yelled, but dialed it down when I realized my neighbors next door were probably sleeping. “I didn’t say you could come in here!”
He looked around the room, peeked in the bathroom – almost like he was searching for someone. When he turned around, he looked a lot more relaxed. Relieved, almost.
“What the fuck are you doing, barging in here at two in the morning?” I demanded.
“I saw you talking to Ryan.”
I shrugged like, Yeah – AND?
“What did he say?”
“Stuff,” I snapped. “What the fuck do you care?”
“I want to know.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I want to know, what did all of those little hoochie mamas out on the dance floor say to you, exactly?”
He waved my words off impatiently. “That didn’t mean anything.”
“Oh, I’m so glad to know that a bunch of naked women throwing themselves at you doesn’t mean any– ”
“What did Ryan say?” he said, almost angry now.
“None of your business! Maybe if you hadn’t been dancing with your skanky groupies you could’ve stuck around and heard for yourself – ”
He stood there and listened to me talk, but I could tell his impatience was building – and then the dam broke.
“Fuck this,” he growled, and stepped forward and kissed me.
Slammed me up against the wall and just owned me.
I was so stunned at first that I didn’t even realize what was happening – I was just overwhelmed by the adrenaline rush, the smack of my back and ass against the wall, his warm, hard body against my curves, his lips pressing insistently against mine, no tongue yet, but his mouth feverishly moving over my own –
After the shock passed, my first reaction was… complicated.
Part of me was going YES!
My heart was racing, my blood was boiling, my insides were fluttering with joy and desire.
But part of me was yelling NO!
Not in a ‘feeling threatened’ way – more like an outraged way. Like, You think you can just waltz in and have me this easily?
So I fought back. I wriggled against him, pushed my hands against his chest –
He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the wall next to me.
And he kept on kissing me, his tongue slipping softly between my lips.
Ohhhh DAMN.
I wanted this.
I wanted it so bad.
So I opened my mouth and let him in.
Ohhhhhhhh God.
He slipped inside me, kissing me passionately, our tongues caressing. He pressed his pelvis against me, and I could feel him, thick and large and getting harder, his cock quickly growing, getting longer and bigger, pressing forcefully through his jeans against my belly.
If I wasn’t wet before, I was now.
Damn I wanted him inside me so bad.
He let go of my left wrist and dropped his hand down to my thigh, reaching up under the hem of my t-shirt. I felt his fingers clutch at my bare ass, squeezing me, gripping me. His fingertips brushed lightly against my pussy, sending my desire soaring even higher. He moved his hand down my ass cheek, the tips of his fingers caressing the wetness of my lips, toying with them, stroking them.
I gasped with pleasure when he did that –
And immediately breathed in the cloying smell of perfume.
Women’s perfume.
Lots of it. A whole barrage of different scents.
The image of him on the dance floor suddenly leapt back into my mind, with those women writhing all over him – except now, in my imagination, they were naked, and he was naked, and they were servicing him and laughing at me, all of them, even Derek.
Everything inside me went cold and angry all at once.
I started struggling and squirming, trying to turn my face away from his – but he just forced himself on me more, maybe thinking it was all still fun and games –
“Get OFF of me!” I yelled. I slammed my free hand against his chest, breaking contact, sending him spinning away at an angle with a stunned look on his face.
“What the hell?!” he asked, more surprised than angry.
I turned away from him. I didn’t want to look at him – I couldn’t. Because of the horrible images in my head… and maybe because my body was still incredibly turned on, and I was afraid of how easily I might still give in.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding concerned.
Anger gave me the power to look at him, just briefly. “If you want to sleep with me, maybe you shouldn’t come up here smelling like your whores.”
His jaw set, his expression darkened, and for a second I was actually a little afraid. He was far more powerful than I was – we were alone – he could do whatever he wanted to me –
And then one side of his mouth pulled up in amusement.
“I don’t fuckin’ believe this,” he muttered.
Now I wasn’t afraid, I was just pissed.
“Believe what? That I’m not happy to be your second or third fuck in a row tonight?”
He sighed heavily. “You know what that was down there? That was to make you jealous. That’s it. Seems it worked a little too well.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Ryan had been right.
Derek stepped closer to me and put a hand tenderly to my face. I flinched, but he kept it there, gently cupping my cheek.
“I don’t want them. I want you. You were playing so hard to get this afternoon… down in the bar, then in the locker room… I’ve always wanted YOU, Kaitlyn. Just you.”
I was breathing harder, my heart was pounding, and he moved in to kiss me –
Maybe it was the perfume, which I could still smell on the air.
Maybe it was my famous boneheaded stubbornness.
Either way, I turned my face away from him.
He paused, his lips a millimeter away from my cheek. I could feel his breath on my skin, hot and ticklish.
Then his hand fell away, and he stepped back.
“Okay, this is the way it’s going to be from now on,” he said. His voice wasn’t exactly cold, but all the passion was gone. It was more like he was being… firm. Stern.
I glanced over at him. He still looked vaguely amused, but he looked a little pissed, too.
“If you want me, you make the first move. I’m not going to make another one. If you don’t want me, then fine. I’ll be the rock star, you’ll be the journalist, and it’ll be cool. No harm, no foul. But no passive-aggressive bullshit from you about how I live my life. No snarky little comments or hateful stares just because other women are into me.
“You want me? I’m yours. But you let me know.”
And with that, he strode across the room, opened the door, and was gone before I could even answer.
22
It was a long-ass night.
A long-ass, frustrating night.
I laid awake, fitfully turning in bed for over an hour, replaying the scene over and over in my head.
Fuck this.
Him slamming me against the wall, kissing me, stroking me, tantalizing me –
The stench of a dozen other women’s perfume –
I’ve always wanted YOU, Kaitlyn. Just you.
My final refusal –
You want me? I’m yours. But YOU let me know.
It all seemed like a dream.
An incredibly hot, but incredibly disturbing dream.
Why did I have to say ‘no’? Wasn’t that exactly the thing I’d fantasized about for years – him forcefully pinning me against the wall, taking me, ravishing me?
I knew why I’d said ‘no,’ of course. The smell. The perfume. I couldn’t get past it.
Why did he have to dance with those women? Why?
Why did he have to flaunt it in my face?
Why couldn’t we have just left immediately after the concert and come here?
He could have been in my arms right now.
He could have been inside me RIGHT NOW.
I was so hot and bothered I wanted to cry.
I relived our night together in college – his fingers creeping down to my panties… slowly slipping beneath my underwear…
As I imagined it for the fifth time, I finally let my own hand drift down between my legs and pretend it was his.
Imagined it was his fingertip gently touching my clit… stroking… circling… caressing…
I remembered the feel of his body against mine… his lips kissing my ear, my neck…
And as I got higher, as I felt my orgasm build, I remembered his cock… I remembered holding it hot and long and thick in my hand, stroking it… using his own pre-come to make him wet and slick… my fingers slipping over the head, circling the shaft. I remembered the passion in our kisses, the look on his face, the ecstasy and the surprise as he cried out and his cock suddenly exploded beneath my fingers, the hot wet spurting over my hand as he called out my name –