“There are cops who go through the whole life of the job without deploying. Kid’s in uniform under a year, and he’s racked up a termination. It changes everything.”
“Did it for you? Your first termination on the job,” he added. They both knew she’d killed long before she had a badge.
“It was different for me.” She often wondered if the way she’d started life made death somehow different for her.
A cold and personal insult.
“Trueheart, he’s barely twenty-two and he’s . . . shiny yet.” Pity—a dark, slippery blossom—bloomed inside her. She crouched down, gave Galahad an absent scratch under the chin. “He won’t sleep tonight. He’ll go over it and over it and over it in his head. If I’d done this, if I’d done that. And tomorrow . . .” She rubbed her hands over her face as she straightened. “I can’t block Testing for him. I can’t stop the process.”
She knew what it was. Stripped bare, monitored, questioned, forced to let machines and techs into your head. Into your gut like a tumor.
“Are you worried he won’t pass through it?”
She glanced over, took the glass of wine he’d poured her. “He’s tougher than he looks, but he’s scared down to the bone. And he’s swimming in guilt. Take all that guilt, all those doubts into Testing, they can drown you. And there’s got to be an investigation. Internal.”
“Why is that?”
She sat, gave him the details while the cat leaped up and kneaded a nest in her lap. It helped clear her mind to say it aloud, particularly to someone who caught on quickly and saw the full picture before you painted in all the lines.
“A uniform’s stunner can’t terminate under those conditions.”
“Yeah.” Eve nodded. “Exactly. It would have to be on full stun and jammed on the throat pulse. Even then it would take more than one jolt.”
“Which means Trueheart’s version of the events doesn’t quite hold.”
IAB wouldn’t think so, she knew, and ran it through for herself as she would for them. “He was under serious duress. A civilian dead, another in extreme jeopardy, himself injured.”
“Is that how you’re going to play it with IAB?”
Yeah, he always saw the whole picture. “Pretty close to that.” She drummed her fingers restlessly on her thigh, on the cat, sipped her wine. “I need the ME’s report. But there’s no way it’s going to come out Trueheart terminated with deliberation. Panic, okay. He’ll take a slap for panic, thirty days’ suspension, some mandatory therapy. I can’t get in the way of it. It’s already dicey for him because he tagged me instead of calling it in through Dispatch. IAB smells cover-up, and the kid’s finished.”
Roarke sat, sipped his own wine. “Have you considered speaking to your old friend Webster?”
She tapped her fingers on the arm of her chair now and kept her gaze steady on Roarke’s. There might have been amusement on his face—or something else. It was often tough to call.
Don Webster wasn’t precisely an old friend. He had been very briefly and years before a lover. The fact that he, for reasons that would never be clear to Eve, had never gotten over that single night they’d shared had caused a violent and fascinating altercation between him and Roarke.
It wasn’t something she wanted to repeat.
“Maybe, unless you’re thinking that’d be a nice opportunity to pound his face in again.”
Roarke sipped, smiled. “I believe Webster and I have a reasonable understanding. I can’t fault him for being attracted to my wife, as I’m very attracted to her myself. And he knows that if he puts his hands on what’s mine again, I’ll break every bone in his body into small, jagged pieces. It works well for us.”
“Great. Dandy.” She said it between her teeth. “He’s over it. He said so,” she added and Roarke merely smiled again. Lazily now. Catlike.
“You know what, I’ve got enough to think about, so we’re just not going to go there tonight. I want to call the commander,” she said. “And I can’t. I have to play this by every page in the book. Kid was dog sick after. Nothing I could do for him.”
“He’ll be all right, Mum.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Careful. I’m the one who brought him in out of Homicide Lite. I put him in the hospital a few months ago.”
“Eve.”
“All right, all right. I put him in a situation where he ended up in the hospital. Now he’s dealing with a suspicious termination. I’ve got a responsibility.”
“You’d see it that way.” He grazed his hand over the backs of her restless fingers. “That’s what makes you what you are. And why he called it into you first. He was scared, he was shaken. The taking of a life isn’t a simple matter for most, and it shouldn’t be. Doesn’t it make him a better cop that he felt something?”
“Yeah, and I’ll use that, too.