Bad Bad Girl

“Why?” I asked in a soft voice.

Caine thought for a moment. “People believe, as I do, that spanking is a way to solve conflicts. Rather than fighting or having resentment, a spanking is a way to take action, reestablish roles and resolve the issue.”

“So why would a woman agree to being spanked like a child?” I asked with curiosity rather than with judgment.

“A spanking is a way for the woman to feel feminine again, to allow the man to take charge. It’s a way to let the guilt and anger go. I don’t really know all the reasons why, but it’s a dynamic that I believe works. This isn’t a new concept and has been practiced in households for centuries.” He paused and took another sip of coffee. “I believe the divorce rate is as high as it is and relationships don’t work because the roles of femininity and masculinity are blending. I’ve also been told that a spanking is therapeutic to a female. It’s a release of negative feelings and negative thoughts.”

I just sat and stared at Caine while he spoke. He had such passion and conviction in his voice. He seemed so centered and focused. Everything about Caine screamed strength and stability. I had never heard the term Domestic Discipline and never knew it was a practice being used today. I wasn’t appalled or shocked. I didn’t think he was a wife beater, or abusive. I respected him for his beliefs. Frankly, I believed in what he was saying. My ex-husband was weak and feminine, which forced me to be strong and masculine. I hated the reversal of roles. I hated that I wore the pants in the family. But most of all, I hated the feeling of having everything on my shoulders. Maybe if Domestic Discipline had been in my marriage, it wouldn’t have led to divorce. Although, the thought of my ex being strong enough to do so seemed comical. He was nothing like Caine. Caine was a strong alpha male. I always found that sexy about him. Some would call him controlling or bossy. I just felt loved and protected when that side of him came out.

Caine stopped and stared at me. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up straight in his chair. “What are you thinking, Neely?”

I smiled and cleared my throat. “I think you might have something here. I agree with everything you’re saying.”

Caine looked shocked. He leaned forward and asked, “You do? This doesn’t seem odd or chauvinistic to you?”

“Nope, it sounds like a good idea. It sounds…right.” I blushed and shyly said, “Honestly, Caine, it also sounds sexy as hell.”

Caine let out a huge laugh, got up from the chair and pulled me into his arms. “I can’t tell you how much of a relief, and how good it feels to be able to discuss this with you. I don’t like having secrets between us. I can’t believe how understanding and open you are.”

I hugged Caine back. “There isn’t anything about you, or your beliefs, I would ever dislike.”

Caine grew serious and sat back down on the kitchen chair. I got up and refilled both of our coffee mugs. I looked over my shoulder and asked, “What’s wrong?”

He leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “Nothing. Hey, don’t mention this to Sara all right. She would be mortified if she knew you heard us last night.”

I laughed. “Not a problem. Not exactly a conversation I would want either.” I handed him his mug. “Caine, I don’t want to get into your business with Sara, but if you don’t love her, and you don’t think you ever can…well, I just think you both deserve better than that.”

Caine rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I know.”

Caine’s brown eyes darkened as he stared into mine.

There were several moments of silence before he finally spoke again. “Do you think it’s possible to find the right one? To find someone you can share the rest of your life with?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I used to. But I’m not so sure now,” I admitted.

“You shouldn’t think that way. You’re absolutely perfect and you deserve someone who can love you completely,” Caine lectured softly.

“So do you,” I added.

Caine reached for my hand and covered it with his. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

We both sat in silence for a few moments. His hand was still on mine, and he was moving his thumb ever so lightly along the tops of my fingers. It seemed impossible that such a gentle touch could come from such a strong man. I watched his thumb move across my hand and found myself wanting more. I wanted his hand touching more than just the top of my hand.

I looked up, and found that Caine was staring at me. His eyes looked different…almost as if he, too, wanted more. I pulled my hand away and took my cup to the sink to rinse it out. I had to be reading more into it. Caine was with Sara, and I was just being foolish. I was like a kid sister to him. I wasn’t anything like Sara. All these new feelings for Caine had to be because I was just happy to be living here. I was just happy to be out of my marriage. I needed to get myself together before I embarrassed the both of us.