Bad Bad Girl

Could I be hearing him correctly? Did he just admit to what I had also been feeling? He didn’t want to stop last night! He wanted me, too. It seemed too good to be true that Caine wanted more from me. My chest tightened and I felt a sense of trepidation. I didn’t want to mess up what I had with Caine. He meant so much to me, and I never wanted him out of my life. I didn’t want to be in and out as quickly as his girlfriends in the past. I didn’t want to treat him like I had treated my husband. I wanted more…I just couldn’t.

“But, I…well I am really bad at this,” I stuttered.

“Bad at what?” he asked while tightening his grip on my hand.

“I’m just bad at relationships. I become a different person or something. I think you would hate to see that side of me. I think it’s best to just stay the way we are,” I admitted as I removed my hand from his grasp.

“And what are we?” Caine asked with a little smirk.

“Friends,” I said.

“Yes, and?” Caine continued to press.

“Well we have deep feelings for each other. Like family,” I added.

“Love?” he continued on.

“Yes, love. Like a brother and a sister.” I really didn’t believe the words as I spoke them.

“When we kissed last night, did it feel like you were kissing a brother?” Caine asked, his smirk turning into a grin.

“Well…no,” I admitted.

“No, it didn’t,” Caine declared as he reached for my hand and kissed the top of it. “There was passion and desire. It felt natural and warm. I think we’ve been denying our true feelings, hiding behind our friendship. If we had sex last night—”

I quickly interrupted, “It would have been a huge mistake that we would have both regretted.”

Caine squeezed my hand gently. “I wouldn’t have regretted a thing.”

I sat speechless. I looked at Caine, and felt the warmth of his hand on mine. This man sitting across from me had always been my rock, my safety, my friend. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to feel. I had always loved Caine, but now I realize I truly loved Caine. I loved him far more than just a friend.

“What does this mean?” I asked in confusion.

“It means that I want a relationship with you. I want us to stop hiding and start showing each other how we feel,” Caine explained as he leaned forward and placed a very soft, gentle kiss on my lips.

“I’m scared. What if I’m not what you think? You don’t know how mean I was, how poorly I treated—”

“I’m not scared. I know you better than anyone. I know who you are and what you are capable of. You wouldn’t treat me poorly, and I wouldn’t allow it if you tried,” Caine interrupted with a firm, authoritative voice.

“So a relationship—like boyfriend and girlfriend?” I hopefully asked.

“Yes. Is that what you want?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied softly.

I meant it. I did want more. I wanted to see what could be between us. The idea of a future sounded fantastic. Caine seemed so sure, so confident. I had faith that Caine had the strength to lead us to happiness together.

“Do you think we’re rushing this? You just broke up with Sara.”

“And you just divorced your husband,” he pointed out. “But I don’t think we are rushing anything. We’ve known each other for a very long time. We’ll go at whatever speed feels natural. No one can decide that but us.” Caine released my hand and stood up. “We have some things to discuss. But right now, I would like you to get dressed so we can go out to eat and spend the day together. Sara is going to be by to get the rest of her stuff soon, and I would rather we’re out when she arrives.”

Caine pulled me into his arms and hugged me. He held on tight and kissed my head. I nuzzled my face into his chest enjoying the warmth of his embrace. I took in his scent and almost moaned in pleasure. It felt so right being held this way. He slowly pulled away and lifted my chin softly to look into his eyes. His face turned stern and serious.

“Neely, I don’t ever want you to put yourself in danger by being that out of control. I can’t express how important you are to me and how horrible it made me feel to see you get sick.” He paused and took a deep breath. “The only good thing that came out of last night is it made me realize I want more from you than just friendship. Seeing that guy with his arms around you made me want to rip them right off. I was more jealous than I had ever been before. I want you to be mine. I want you to be mine, forever.”