He boosted himself up onto the flatbed and sat, his hands on his lap, his head a bit bowed. I stepped on the bumper and jumped up beside him with such ease, he laughed.
"You're pretty nimble."
"I can stand on my head," I bragged, "but don't ask me to do it," I followed quickly.
The two of us looked at the dark street. It was still, quiet.
"Not much traffic goes by here this time of the night, does it?" I asked.
"No." He leaned back on his elbow, found a dried piece of grass on the flatbed and put it into his mouth. "What about you, Brooke? Did you leave a boyfriend back there?"
"No," I said quickly.
"C'mon, there must have been a few," he insisted.
"Well, no one important at least," I admitted finally.
"What do you mean? How can that be?" he kidded. "How could boys resist falling head over heels for you?" Something in his eyes turned serious, and I knew he was paying me another compliment.
"I used to ask myself that every day," I joked back, suddenly uncomfortable.
He laughed harder and then suddenly stopped and fixed his gaze on me. In the darkness, his beautiful ebony eyes glistened. When he turned, his body moved closer to me. We were only inches apart. I didn't turn away as his lips drew closer. We touched, almost as if by accident at first, tentative, soft, quick, and then he shifted his weight and kissed me harder, longer, his hand going to my shoulder to hold me to him.
"I like you, Brooke," he said. "I like you a lot." "I like you, too."
"I'm glad your car's water pump broke," he whispered.
We kissed again and then we lay back: He had his arm outstretched so that my head rested on it and when I turned, I turned into his chest. Above us the stars blinked like candles in the dark. It made me dizzy to lie there, feeling his heartbeat as well as my own. His lips were on my forehead and then slowly traced the bridge of my nose, paused at the tip, kissed it and moved to my lips again. This kiss was long, softer, warmer. I felt the heat rising up my legs as if I had lowered myself into a warm bath.
I put my fingers into his hair and combed through it, moving down the back of his neck. I heard him moan and felt his excitement building. He moved closer, his right hand sliding down my arm and under to find my breast. I turned into him and buried my face against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and then nibbled gently on my ear. It sent a delightful chill down my spine.
He rose to his knees then and carefully, gracefully guided me back farther onto the flatbed until we were well hidden by the sides of the truck. There was a bale of hay at the rear. My head rested against it. He rose to his knees, lowered the straps of his coveralls and pulled off his shirt. His chest shimmered in the darkness, reflecting the starlight that was in my eyes as well.
"To me you're a breath of fresh air, Brooke," he whispered just before he lowered himself to kiss me again. His fingers moved under my sweatshirt. I lifted my back so the shirt would go smoothly up and over my head. He kissed my neck and reached behind to undo my bra. When I felt the snap unfasten, my heart stopped and then started like a parade drum. He didn't lift the bra from my breasts quickly. For a few moments, he continued to kiss around it, nudging my breasts. I had never before gone this far with a boy. I could barely breathe.
No voice within me told me to stop. I had no fears, no hesitation. I surprised myself with my eagerness, my desire to continue, to explore my own feelings.
Todd was so different than the other boys I'd dated. Every time he touched me, it was as though he asked first, as though he was careful to be sure it was what I wanted. He gave me the feeling he wanted me to enjoy him as much as he could enjoy me. It was lovemaking on that romantic level, that level of equality girls read about, dream about, but rarely have. I was having it and it flooded my heart with a warmth I never thought possible.
My nipples were so stiff so quickly, they ached. I couldn't help my moaning.
"Brooke," he whispered. "You're beautiful, as beautiful as any girl I've ever seen."
I quickly discovered that words could dazzle like jewels. They traveled through my ears and into my brain, but they kept going until they touched my deepest, most secret self. They nudged the woman in me and I longed for him in ways that had come to me only in my most private fantasies.
I felt his leg between my legs and I pressed myself against him eagerly. We writhed, kissed, drank at each other's lips. I was in such a daze, I vaguely felt his fingers undo my jeans. Before I could stop him, his hand was inside and found my most private place. I didn't turn away. His excitement grew rapidly now. His breathing came so fast, I felt my first tinge of fear.
"Todd," I said, "I've never done this before." "I know," he said, "but I've never wanted it more with anyone."
His words were hypnotic. Finally, a tiny voice began to call out a warning. It called my name. I liked to think of that voice within me as my mother's voice, something I seized on when I was a baby, something I buried deep inside myself to resurrect only when I needed it the most.
He had undone his own pants and I felt his nakedness. He struggled with my panties and then, he stopped when I didn't move as cooperatively as I had before.
"I'm afraid," I cried. "I know we're going too fast, Todd. Please."
He slumped against me.
"You're right," he said, "we are, but you're running off tomorrow."