How did she know so much about us all, about how we felt? It wasn't her business. She reached for my hand. I started to pull away, but she literally seized it and held it.
"Your mother sees you growing up. April. You were the baby in the family, and you're moving on, becoming a young woman, driving, on your own. It makes her happy, but it makes her sad as well. It's just part of what it means to be a mother, a parent," she explained,
"How do you know all that? You're not a parent." I wanted to add. And you probably neverwill be, but I didn't.
"It's basic psychology, honey. You'll see," she said, released my hand, but patted it.
I glanced at Brenda. She looked mesmerized by Celia. The two held their gaze on each other for a long moment, and then the food and my drink arrived. Some of the other women stepped over to our table to congratulate Brenda on the game. They had heard about it and about her performance. I noticed how they looked at Celia, who glared back at them like a guard dog, observing every touch, every hug and kiss.
"Who are these people?" I asked, scowling when we were alone again.
They both laughed. "What's so funny?"
"The way you asked," Celia said. "Some of them work at the college in the business department. That woman at the far corner of the bar is a drama and speech instructor. Ms. Formier. The rest are people who work in the area."
"How come you don't go where other college kids go?"
"We feel comfortable here," Brenda said. She glanced at Celia. I caught a slight nod. "Look, April. I think you're old enough to understand now. Celia and I..."
"I don't want to hear it!" I practically screamed.
"What?"
"I'm tired. I'm going back to the dorm."
I jumped up and started out of the bar.
"April!" Brenda called after me. but I kept walking. I really felt as if I couldn't breathe. The cold night air hit me like a slap. and I broke into a jog. I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks and blowing off my chin. I wasn't sure I was going in the right direction. but I kept going. anyway. After I rounded a corner. I stopped to catch my breath. and I heard Brenda coming up quickly behind me. She called out to me. and I turned.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded as she approached in a walk now.
"I didn't like it in there." I said. "And I don't like Celia. She thinks she knows everything. everything. Especially about our family!" I screamed.
"Calm down. April," Brenda ordered.
I folded my arms and turned my back on her.
"You're acting like a spoiled, temperamental kid."
"I am not, and don't call me a kid. That's what she would say. I'm sixteen! I'm a young adult!"
I couldn't help shouting now. Like a coiled fuse attached to a time bomb. I knew that sooner or later. I would explode while I was visiting, and now I had.
"Then act like an adult." she countered. Her face softened. "Okay." she said. "I understand. This is all happening too fast, and it's too much in your face."
I didn't say anything.
"Come on. We'll walk back to the dorm," she said. She turned left. "It's this way. You were going in the wrong direction."
"I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there."
We walked silently for a while. I looked back once to see if Celia was coming after us. but I didn't see her. I was finally alone with my sister.
"Most people can't help being who and what they are," she began. "I also know that most people don't want to believe that. They want to be able to blame others for the things they do or for who they become. First, it isn't right for people to stand in judgment like that, and second, their anger or intolerance is usually born of plain ignorance
"I knew you took a lot of ribbing and abuse at school because of me. You never complained to Mama or Daddy or even me about it, either. and I was proud of you for that."
My heart was thumping. Brenda had never spoken to me like this. It was all left unsaid, stored in a cl