oaking us up in darkness, disappointment, and defeat. He was still with us. I felt all the strength seep out of me as we turned into the hospital parking lot as close to the emergency room as we could get. I wasn't sure I would be able to put myself together enough to get out of the car.
Brenda turned off the engine, took a deep breath, and nodded. We all got out and followed her quickly to the emergency room entrance.
"This is so terrible, so terrible," Mrs. Maxwell muttered beside me. She held my elbow so tightly it actually hurt. but I didn't say anything.
The sight of so many people in the waiting room depressed us all. There was a line in front of the reception desk like you might find in a post office or a bank. There were people who looked as if they were in pain and people who just looked miserable. Every time you start feeling sorry for yourself for whatever reason, I thought, you should just stop by a hospital emergency room and look at the people waiting.
Brenda caught sight of a paramedic walking toward the entrance. She veered quickly to the left and stopped him.
"Did you happen to pick up my mother today?" she asked. "Mrs. Nora Taylor, 777 North Castle Drive?"
He looked at me and Celia and Mrs. Maxwell and nodded.
"Yes, ma'am," he said, "She was taken to the examination room immediately."
"Well, who can we talk to?" Brenda asked.
He looked at the desk and the line and then nodded and said, "Come with me."
We followed him through the doors and into the hallway. A patient was on a gurney in the hallway, the right side of his face bandaged so that it covered the eye. He had his head turned away from us. A nurse came out of one of the examination rooms and hurried to the nurses' station, and then a doctor appeared on our left, and the paramedic approached him.
"Dr. Mallen, these people are the family of the woman we brought in about an hour ago. Mrs. Taylor."
The doctor looked at us and nodded at the paramedic. "Please, step in here," he said, indicating an empty examination room.
I don't know how I walked or even stood straight. My body felt strangely detached. floating. Brenda, in her usual firm way, stepped in quickly. Celia beside her.
"You are?"
"I'm Brenda Taylor, and this is my sister. April," she said, nodding at me. "Mrs. Maxwell found my mother, and this is my close friend." she added. indicating Celia.
"Your mother took a considerable number of sleeping pills," he began. "As soon as she was brought in, we inserted an endotracheal tube and began to pump her stomach, but too much time had gone by. I'm afraid." he said with as much emotion as someone saying one of the lights in the hallway had blown out. Because of that, none of us really reacted. We stared at him in expectation of another sentence. He looked at all of us and then asked. "Was there a history of attempted suicide?"
"No," Brenda replied.
"I'm sorry." he said, finally showing some human emotion, if only in an automated form. "We did all we could. She expired about twenty minutes ago."
"Like a parking meter?" Brenda retorted. Celia moved closer to her instantly and took her arm. She knew how she would be. "So, what's the fine?"
"Excuse me?" the doctor said.
"Are you saving Mrs. Taylor has died?" Celia asked him.
"Yes, I am. I'm sorry." he said. He actually looked a bit frightened and shifted his weight, "I can have one of the hospital counselors here
immediately," he added, looking toward the doorway.
"Where is she?" Brenda demanded. "Where's my mother?"
"She's still in room three," he replied obediently. "There's so much happening at the moment, we're terribly behind. and..."
Brenda pivoted and then. with Celia hanging on, marched out of the room. I looked at the doctor and then at Mrs. Maxwell, who was crying openly now. Then I followed Brenda and Celia out and down the hallway to room three. where Mama lay on a gurney, her eyes closed. There was still enough color in her face for her to look as if she were just sleeping.
He made a mistake, I thought. They've all made a terrible error. Mama's just asleep. She'll wake up any moment and wonder were she is and how she got here. We'll all laugh about it.
Brenda stood looking down at her and then slowly raised her hand and put it gently on Mama's forehead, as if she were checking for a fever. Celia stood beside her, her head down.
"Mama?" I said. It came out of me like a burp. I didn't even think to say it.