"I'm driving back to Hickory this weekend," Brenda added. "I have some legal documents to review with our attorney. A trust fund is being created for you. And the real estate agent has someone returning for a second visit. It looks promising. I'm just going for the day. Do you want to come along?"
"No," I replied sharply. Returning to Hickory with Mama gone was a horrible idea for me. I certainly didn't want to look at our house again.
"Suit yourself." she said. "We bought a readycooked chicken for tonight. I thought we'd have some salad and that would be enough."
"Fine with me." I said. "I'll make the salad."
Actually, it really was fine with me. Suddenly, watching my diet and losing weight took on a whole new meaning. Celia gave me one of her all-knowing smiles, and before she could say anything else. I left the two of them, put my books in my apartment, changed as quickly as I could out of my school uniform, and returned to the kitchen to do the salad.
At dinner. I was happy the conversation centered around Brenda's all-star game on Friday. Celia talked about the two of us going together. It was being held at a nearby neutral college's gymnasium. As they talked about it, an idea blossomed in my head. I wondered if Peter Smoke would like to go. Was it too optimistic to even consider, and, more to the point, would I have the nerve to ask him or even suggest it? Was it too soon to make such a suggestion to him? What if he laughed?
"Are you going to ask your new friend if he would like to go to the game. too." Celia asked as I was going out the rear door.
I hated that she could anticipate my secret hope. Was I really so transparent? Could anyone see through me, or was Celia someone special and extra bright? And why was it so important to her. anyway?
"I don't know. All I did was give him a ride home," I muttered, and left quickly without even looking at her reaction.
However. I couldn't stop thinking about Peter Smoke. Was it possible for a girl to develop a crush on a boy so quickly? Was it horrible of me even to have such thoughts so soon after Mama's death? I told myself that it wasn't, because in my mind, it was still hard to accept Mama being gone. I had pushed it down and held it there, forcing myself not to think about it. I dove into my homework, read until my eyes were foggy, and then tried to go to sleep. The trumpet player was at it again, only tonight his music was melancholy to me. It brought tears to my eyes and made me think of Mama, her smile, her laughter, and her wonderful way of building me up, giving me hope. How lonely I felt without her.
Did Peter Smoke have nights like this? I wondered, Did he miss his mother as much? His life seemed even worse than mine. How did he embrace his sadness? From what well did he draw the strength? That had he called that forced relocation of the Cherokee Indians. the Trail of Tears? I felt as if I were walking the same route. Nasty, horrible, and cruel fate had forced my relocation. Maybe he was right. Maybe my new name and my new identity would find me. I had to learn to have his patience.
I smiled to myself. When we met again. I thought. I'd know that chess board backward and forward. I decided to spend my study period in the library reading up on it.
I was hoping to see him in school the next day, but he was like a ghost. I was surprised not to see him in the cafeteria at lunchtime, at least. Where did he go? Curious, I approached Dolores and started the conversation by telling her I had joined beginners' chess.
"That's so boring," she remarked. Her girlfriends quickly agreed with their nods and moans.
"No one is in it but the school nerds." JoAnn Docken added. She was a tall, light-brown-haired girl whose obviously cosmetically adjusted nose looked like an advertisement for Snobs R Us.
"There was this interesting boy helping the teacher. He said he was an Indian," I added, trying to sound as casual as I could.
"Peter Smoke?" Dolores replied. "Yes."
"Forget him. He's weird."
"I don't even see him in school." I said, gazing around the cafeteria,
"He never eats inside. Even when it rains, he's outside under the overhang. I heard he sleeps with a wolf or something," JoAnn continued.
"He smells like he does," another girl, Enid Lester. said. She was in my math class and sat across from me, with her little makeup mirror open as if she had to continually check her face for signs of some change. Girls like Enid were like air-traffic controllers searching their awn radar screens for signs of some blip in their looks.
They all laughed.
"I didn't smell anything bad," I said,
"You didn't get close enough, probably. Why, do you like him?" Enid pursued.
"No. I just wondered..."
"Watch yourself" JoAnn said. "We heard he carved his initials between the breasts of the last girl he was with at his Oklahoma school, Some Indian thing to make sure your woman is yours and yours only.-
They all laughed again. "That's so stupid." I said.
"She likes him," Enid said, nodding smugly, and they all laughed once more.
I left them giggling at me and walked out of the cafeteria and out of the building. It actually wasn't a bad day to eat lunch outside. I thought. Spring was beginning to creep in, and today we had bright sunshine and higher than usual temperatures. I searched the school grounds, and at first. I didn't see him and thought those girls had just made something up for spite.
However, just as I was about to turn and go back into the building. I saw his ebony hair and realized he was sitting at a tree with his back against it.