you were here," she flared at me, looking red and very
angry. "That was our bargain. Why do you think I've
been going through all this discomfort and pain?" "Pain? What pain?" Mama asked.
"Pain! Pain! I'm supposed to be the one giving
birth. I can't be without aches and pains, can I? When
you pretend as well and as accurately as I have
pretended, you actually feel it. No one knows how
much I've endured," she cried, her face in an ugly
grimace. "I'm the one who's making all the sacrifices
here just to make everything look right." She put her
hands through her hair, looking as though she might
tug out strands of it, and turned on Octavious, who
stood by, watching with fear and amazement on his
face, too. "Why are you still here? Get rid of them!
Now! All of this is your fault. All of it!"
"All right, all right," he said, holding up his
hands. "Calm down. I'll do it."
He ran from the room. I turned away so no one
would see my tear-filled eyes. I shouldn't have looked
out that window and I shouldn't have laughed and
shown myself to Henry. Because of me, Henry and his
family would be thrown out and have to go searching
for a new place to live and work.
It seemed like anything and everything I did
now would hurt someone. Was it because I had been
touched by evil, deeply stained in my very soul?
Perhaps no act, no matter how unselfish, could
cleanse me of the pollution. Maybe I was better off
staying away from the people I loved, I thought sadly.
Look at what I had done to this innocent, handicapped