I looked at Beau desperately.
"Hey, Paul, listen," Beau said in a reasonable tone of voice, "let us help you with this burden now. We realize you took on too much. Let's move Gisselle to a hospital in New Orleans and--"
"Move her to a hospital in New Orleans just to ease my burden?" He shook his right forefinger in Beau's face. "You're speaking about the woman I love," Paul said, swaying. He smiled. "I pledged to have and to hold, through sickness and through health, until death do us part."
"Paul . ."
He pushed me aside. "I've got to lie down," he said, and stumbled_ his way out of the room.
"Let him get some sleep," Beau said. "Later he'll sober up and be more sensible."
I nodded, but a moment later, we heard Paul fall on the stairway. We ran out and found he had rolled down a few steps and was sprawled at the base. James was already at his side, trying to get him up.
"Paul!" I cried.
Beau helped James get him to his feet. They each took an arm around their shoulders and carried him up the stairs, his head bobbing. I sat down on a hall bench and buried my face in my hands.
"He's all right," Beau assured me when he returned. "James and I got him to bed."
"This is horrible, Beau. We should have never let him become such an intricate part of this. I don't know what I was thinking."
"He wanted to do it; it made it all easier. We can't blame ourselves for the way he's acting. He might very well have become this way once you left anyway, Ruby. After a while he'll come to his senses. You'll see."
"I don't know, Beau," I moaned. I was ready to throw up my hands and reveal our elaborate deception.
"We have no other choice now but to see this thing through. Be strong," Beau said firmly. Then he straightened up and smiled at the sight of Jeanne and Pearl approaching.
"She's been calling for her mother. It's so sad, I can't stand it," Jeanne moaned.
"Let me take her," I said.
"You know," Jeanne said as she handed Pearl back to me, "I think she believes you're Ruby. I can't imagine why or how a child would make such a mistake."
Beau and I gazed at each other a moment and then Beau smiled.
"She's just in a state of confusion because of the rapid turn of events, the traveling, the new home," Beau said.
"That's why I was going to suggest you leave her with me. I know what a burden a baby is, but--"
"Oh no," I said sharply. "She's no burden. We have already hired a nanny to help."
"Really?" She grimaced. "Toby said you would."
"Well, why shouldn't we?" Beau said quickly.
"Oh, I didn't mean you shouldn't. I probably would, too, if I . ."
"Everything's set. We can eat out on the patio, if that's all right with you," Toby said, coming up behind Jeanne.
"Fine," Beau said. "Gisselle?" He looked at me and I sighed. The tension and the emotional weight of seeing Paul this way were the real reason, but Paul's sisters thought I was just being my petulant self as Gisselle. They glanced at each other and tried to hide a smirk.
"It's all right," I said with great effort. "Not that I'm that hungry. Long rides always ruin my appetite," I complained. Ironically, it was a relief to fall back into Gisselle's personality. At least I didn't have the burden of conscience on my heart.
For the first time it occurred to me that this was why Gisselle had been the way she was; and for the moment, at least, I understood and even envied her for being so self-centered. She never felt sorrow over someone else's pain. To Gisselle, the world had been a great playground, a land of magic and pleasure, and anything that threatened that world was either ignored or avoided. Maybe she wasn't so stupid after all.
Except I remembered something Grandmere Cather-ine once said. "The loneliest people of all are those who were so selfish, they had no one with them in the autumn of their lives."
I wondered if Gisselle, falling down that dark tunnel of unconsciousness, drifting away, realized that now, if she realized anything anymore.