As if the air between us was filled with shocking electricity. I pulled back and away from him abruptly. He was caught, committed, exposed, his desire naked, and that filled his face with blood so fast I thought the top of his head would explode. It instantly retreated, forming deep white patches of anger and disappointment at the corners of his lips.
"Am I that distasteful?" he asked. infuriated.
"No, no," I said. "I was just taken by such surprise."
"Right. I forgot. You're becoming Thatcher Eaton's latest amusement, off-limits to the likes of someone like me." He pushed himself to his feet,
"No, Linden. I'm no one's amusement."
"Oh, no, you're in control of everything. Just like all the others he's paraded through that house and taken to his bedroom." He paused and looked down at me. "You have been to his bedroom already, haven't you?"
"That's not really something I'd like to discuss. Linden."
"Of course not he said, darkening his eyes, eyes that seemed to know all the wicked and tricky ways of the world,
Should I tell him the truth right here and How? I wondered. Should I explain whywe can't become lovers? Was it right to tell him that before I had spoken with my mother? Maybe she didn't want him to know-- or anyone to know, for that matter. What should I do?
I felt so desperate and so foolish. Why didn't I see this coming? Why did I think I could prevent it?
He stood there, with his hands on his hips, staring at the sea, the anger rising in his face like mercury in a thermometer,
"Linden, please..."
"It's all right," he said. "I've lost the moment. It happens." He started to put his things away.
"But what are you doing? We still have lots of time, don't we?"
"Artists are finicky people," he muttered. "We do illogical, inexplicable things. Don't blame yourself. It's not the first time this has happened, believe me."
"Can't we just continue so you can get your work done?"
"I can't work when I get like this. I'm sorr
y. I have it all in here, anyway," he said, pointing to his temple. "I took the picture, and I can replay it whenever I need to. Don't worry about it. You fulfilled your part of the bargain.'
He started to pack up. He moved with such abrupt, almost violent actions I was afraid to try to stop him. He loaded the boat,
"Linden..."
"Please change," he said, turning his back to me. "I need to go back."
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, honest I didn't."
"Right."
"I can explain. Maybe not right at this moment. but I can and I will someday. I promise." I said. "and you'll understand."
"Change," he repeated, not looking at me.
I did so quickly and handed him the clothing. He shoved it back into the bag and threw it into the boat,
"Let's go," he said.
He practically lunged at me and lifted me again, but he kept his face turned away until he had lowered me into the boat. Then he pushed off and got into it.
It seems a pity to waste the day, Linden," I said softly,
"What of it? I've wasted many," he said, and turned us away from his private little paradise.