"Dr. De Beers, what brings you here?" she asked.
"This," I said and took the torn teddy bear out of my briefcase. Her face turned a dark shade of crimson.
"Where did you find that?" she demanded,
"Where do you think I found it. Nadine?" I replied and stepped toward her so aggressively, she pulled back. I didn't go any farther into her apartment than her entryway and closed the door behind me, "How could you do such a terrible thing?" I asked.
"I didn't do any terrible thing. I found that and put in my my personal cabinet. I didn't want to disturb you with it," she quicky added. She wasn't a good liar. Her lips trembled too much, her eyes shifted guiltily away from mine.
"You know I won't believe that. Nadine. Why did you do it?"
She looked at me a moment and then shook the fabrications out of her mind and became angry herself.
"Because you were getting too involved with this one patient and you couldn't see what it was doing to you, that's why. She's a conniving, manipulating... I did it to help you, to bring about an end to your... your..."
"What?"
"Fraternizing. You aren't treating her anymore. You're socializing. You're--"
"How dare you do such a thing, assume such things, take such liberties with a patient of mine? This is one of the cruelest things I've seen. I don't want you there any longer. Nadine. I'll send you your severance pay, and I'll have your things sent to you as well. From this day forward you have nothing to do with the clinic or me," I said, turned and opened the door.
"You'll regret that!" she shouted after me. "I am the only one who really cares about you. Dr. De Beers!" she yelled as I walked down the corridor. "You'll see."
I was glad to shut the entrance behind me, take a deep breath, and go on home.
All the confrontation did was fill me with a more desperate determination to be with Grace and to help her. I couldn't wait to get to her the following day. It was a very bright, warm day with streams of thin, sheer clouds spread randomly over the soft blue sky. She had permitted an attendant to take her out to the gardens, where she sat quietly. For a moment I stood back and watched her. She looked so young and innocent, tally part of the natural beauty in which she had surrounded herself. Willow. The breeze made strands of her hair dance softly over her forehead. Two sparrows toyed with landing beside her, bringing a gentle smile to those lovely lips of hers.
When I approached her, she looked up at me. The moment she realized it was I. her eyes became a second or so from filling with tears.
"I'm so happy you've come out here. Grace," I began.
She shook her head. "Let me go. Claude," she pleaded. "Before it's too late."
"What are you talking about. Grace? How can keeping you here with me ever be too late?"
She looked away and took a deep breath.
"Grace, how do you think I would feel the day after you left? How effective would I be with my other patients? Don't you understand? I love you, Grace. You're not simply one of my patients. You're a new reason for me to be. and I hope that somehow I can be the same to you."
She looked up at me, her eyes now awash in those tears I saw
pending.
"That can never be. Claude. You know that." "I don't know anything. I'll find a way. I'll--"
"Claude," she said. pressing her small clenched fists against her bosom. "I'm pregnant."
I could hear the hollow, resonating sound of Nadine Gordon shouting after me in the hallway.
And suddenly it was like all the leaves and blossoms of the flowers around Grace and me came raining down around us like so many tears.
10
A Visit from Jackie Lee
.
My legs actually went out from under me.