"C'mon." he urged. "Let's get out of here. This is the only chance I'll ever have to get out of here."
I followed slowly, wondering what would become of Elisha. At least Heyden had his song writing and his guitar. He was using music to lift himself up and out of the din. She was using it like a blanket to cover her misery.
Maybe Mommy would give me some suggestions as to how to help her. I thought.
But then again, maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she would be angry at me for trying to involve her and myself in Heyden's family problems. She had warned me about it already.
There wasn't time to really think about it. but I was glad of that. I wanted to keep rushing, to keep charging forward with Heyden. Together, we would make the music that could drown out both our voices of sadness and disappointment.
Couldn't it?
.
Heyden cradled the guitar in his hands with as much pleasure in his face as Mommy had holding little Claude. I thought. It was so rare that anything I was given gave me such pleasure. I was actually jealous of the instrument and not jealous of Heyden. It put him into such a pure ecstatic state, he practically glowed. Would he love anyone with as much passion as he loved his music? I wondered. Maybe he was more like his father than he cared to admit.
In one of her more revealing moments with me. Mommy told me she loved Miguel because it was so clear to her that there was nothing more important to him than her. She made it sound almost as if she was therefore obligated to love him, and I wondered if anyone could truly love someone out of obligation. It seemed to me it had to come from a different place, sprout from a garden different from the garden of responsibility and expectation. It had to have more of a spontaneity. It was richer and far more exciting when it surprised you, when you looked again at someone and realized a force greater than anything you had experienced before was drawing you to him.
Was that too romantic, too fantastic to come from the mind of Dr. Willow Fuentes's daughter?
Watching the careful and loving way Heyden handled his guitar made me think of the careless way Adrian and Cade treated all their possessions. There was always a nonchalance and often an indifference. Neither of them was ever surprised at receiving anything, truly believing that for some reason, it was all coming to him. They deserved it all simply because they existed.
Heyden smiled his pleasure at me and then tuned the strings while the store clerk watched us with a half-ann
oyed, half-suspicious expression on his face. He couldn't decide if we were just toying with him and the guitar or if we had the wherewithal to actually purchase the instrument.
Heyden tried a cord and nodded. "It's in cherry condition," he said. "It's a find."
"Well, then, let's get it," I said.
The clerk's eyebrows were nearly hoisted off his head. "Is this the best price?" Heyden asked him.
His smirk returned. "Absolutely," he said. "As you just said, it's cherry." he tagged on with a gleeful smile.
"Right," Heyden turned to me and I produced my credit card. The clerk looked at it carefully.
"Do you have a driver's license or any other farm of identification?"
"Yes," I said and showed him my license. Still skeptical, he processed the card, looking as if he expected it would be kicked back. When it wasn't, he became more pleasant.
After we had left the store with the guitar in our possession. Heyden couldn't contain himself. All the way back to his house, he played.
"This is the song I wanted you to hear." he said and began. It was a beautiful sang about someone who was afraid of falling in love and yet very much wanted to fall in love. He warned his lover that when he was touched, he would be too weak to keep from falling in love.
This is for forever, he sang, so don't touch me with your eyes, your lips, or your fingers unless you want for us to be true.
Before he finished. I joined in with him on the final chorus. I pulled up in front of his house and he played the song again, this time with me singing as much as I could remember. After a third time I knew most of the song and we were bath laughing,
"Just come in a little faster and don't be afraid to reach for that high note. I'll be there like a net to catch you if you fall," he said.
We were at it again. While we were singing and he was playing. I saw the front door of his house open and his sister came out. She stood there watching us and listening to us and then she walked toward the car. Heyden stopped and looked out at her.
"You comin' in for dinner?" she asked,
"Why? You making it?" Heyden retorted.
"No. Mama's home."
"She's home?"