Twisted Roots (DeBeers 3)

She put her right palm against her chest and sank herself into the nearest chair.

"A mental clinic?" She looked toward the doorway as if she could see him. "What was wrong with him?"

He was diagnosed as a severe manic depressive at the start. I've heard my mother say he also had characteristics of classic paranoia. I don't know all the technical stuff. By the time I was old enough to visit with him on my own, he seemed fine to me. He was always loving and gentle and always looked forward to my visits eagerly. We drew closer and closer until I was the one looking after him the most."

She shook her head. You would never know any of that from talking to him."

I nodded. "Generally, he's fine and functions well. He gets confused from time to time, but he has never been more charming than he has been here. and I think he really cares about Bess and is moved by her emotional pain.

But it's like the blind leading the blind. Mrs. Stanton. I can't let it continue. I would feel

responsible for any new problems. I -would be responsible. I brought him here."

"I don't understand all this." she said, shaking her head again. "Why did you run away from your home? And why did that young man run away from his?"

"We were planning to became a singing act, but that's not why I ran off," I said.

I walked to the table and sat across from her. Where do 1 begin? I wondered. How do I explain all this quickly so someone like Mrs. Stanton will understand and not think I'm simply a spoiled brat or as unbalanced as her granddaughter?

"I have told you the truth about my family life." I started and continued in broad strokes until I got to Mommy's pregnancy and how our lives had changed, or at least, my life. When I finished with little Claude's death and how I felt I was being held accountable for it, she shook her head and muttered, "My, my, my. my."

"So when Heyden presented his plan to me and we saw how much my uncle Linden wanted to get out of that home, we just did it." I concluded. I had told her just enough about Heyden's home life to help her understand why he wanted to get away, too.

Mrs. Stanton rose without speaking and went to her teapot. She poured the tea through a strainer into a pitcher filled with ice, all the while not saying a word to me. Finally she paused and turned.

"My poor Rosemary can't come back to stop her mother's pain, but you can go back to your mama." she said. And I'm sure she's in terrible pain. too."

"I know, That's what I intend to do. I'm sorry we didn't tell you the truth from the start, but Heyden didn't think we would be here that long, and I never anticipated doing what I did with Bess. Uncle Linden seemed to be doing so well with her, too, that I didn't want to spoil it and maybe cause you even more problems."

She nodded. "And so Heyden's run off because you wanted to go home and he thought you were betraying him?" she asked.

"Yes. I was hoping he would change his mind and come back here. but he hasn't. He was so angry with me."

"From the little you've told me, it doesn't appear that he has as much waiting for him if he does go home," she said.

"No, he doesn't, and he has been on his own for most of his life."

She shook her head. "I live here on this farm. in a real sense imprisoned by our family tragedy. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. I don't suppose it can be helped. I think I'm missing so much out there. I don't have any social life anymore, haven't for years since my husband's death. Most of my friends are crone, and the ones who are still living are with their families and don't have the same independence they had.

"I watch the television, of course, but not a lot. Mast of the time, it puts me to sleep, but what I see an the news programs, the way it's all shown these days, makes me think it's all entertainment. How can people behave like that, do those things to each other, not that things like that didn't happen before. I'm sure. There just seems to be so much more of it. I think about it all, and I realize that maybe I'm not so bad off staying close to home, dealing with my own troubles."

"I'm sorry I brought our troubles here," I said.

She dropped her pensive look and smiled, "Oh. I don't believe you've done us any harm. darlin'. I still think you did us some good. At least poor Bess had a small respite from her pain. What are you going to do?"

"I thought I would call my father first and see if he could help us."

"Very wise," she said. She poured some mint iced tea into a tumbler and then into another. "I'll see that your uncle Linden gets same of this. He is fond of it," she said. "I do like him very much. and I hope he'll be all right."

"Me, too," I said, brushing some tears off my cheeks.

"You'll be fine, darlin'," she said. "Just go home. Go home to your mama. No matter what you think or feel, she's heartsick aver you bein' gone. I'm sure of that. Pour yourself some iced tea if you like," she said and left with the tray.

I sat there trying to get my throat to open enough for me to talk on a phone. I did have some of her iced tea, and then I took a deep breath and went to the telephone. My fingers trembled as I punched in Daddy's office number. I thought it would be better to call him first. Despite the distance that had always been between us. I couldn't help thinking of my father as a man of action who seemed capable of moving mountains. He knew influential people, very, very wealthy people, and had even been invited to the White House. Surely, he would salve all my present problems with a snap of his fingers.

The familiar cold, official voice of Mrs. Gower greeted me. If my father had told her anything about my running off. she didn't reveal it in her tone.

"He is at a meeting in Miami." she said. "I'll see if I can patch you through to his cellular,"