"We'll be all right," I whispered to her. "'We'll be just fine."
I kissed Linden's cheek and said good night, thanking him for the walk.
Later. when I laid my head on my pillow and gazed out my window. I saw the clouds rolling in from the west, unfolding like a dark charcoal blanket, reminding me that just like the promises made on cruises, promises made under the stars could be lost and forgotten if we weren't careful.
I felt like a little girl again and imagined Daddy standing in my doorway. He had come to take me through his catechism designed to bring me to some sensible conclusions.
Could you be taking on too much responsibility here too quickly, Willow?
I don't know. Maybe.
If you are, do you know how to retreat without hurting yourself or someone else?
I guess not. no.
Would you go walking- in the darkness in a strange new place without any light at all?
No.
What should you do first, then? Find some light.
Will you do that, Willow?
Yes, Daddy.
Before you go too much further?
Yes. Daddy,
Okay, then. Good night Willow.
Good night, Daddy-.
The door closed on my imaginary conversation, but it had been enough to send me back in time.
In my memory, the house turned down the volume of all its sounds. My. adoptive mother's muffled voice came up through the floor like a bad record and then stopped.
Somewhere from the rear. I could hear Amou singing a Portuguese folk song as she folded clothes.
Then it was completely quiet.
And sleep, like the blanket of clouds outside the window, shut off the stars, even the ones I carried with me forever.
6
Dressed to Kill
.
Almost as soon as I woke up the next morning.
I couldn't stop thinking about Thatcher and his meeting with the infamous Kirby Scott. If doctors could x-ray nerves. I was sure they would diagnose mine with split ends. To keep my mind occupied. I decided to return to the college campus, go to the bookstore, and get all the material Professor Fuentes had given me to read before my classes started. Once there. I found a few other books I had wanted as well, and in twenty minutes I had my arms so full. I felt like I would topple over if someone bumped me.
Someone didn't bump me. However, he tapped me on the shoulder, and when I turned, slowly and carefully I looked into the ebony eyes of Professor Fuentes.
"I see you had no trouble finding your way around."
"No."