Darkest Hour (Cutler 5)

"You bring only happiness to me," he said. "Emily's the Jonah. Miss Ironing Board," he added and we laughed. The reference to Emily's flat chest put his attention on mine. I saw his eyes drink in my bosom and when I closed my eyes, I envisioned his hands on my breasts. Right now, his right hand rested on my side. Slowly, I lowered my left hand to his wrist and then brought his hand up until his fingers grazed my breast. He resisted at first. I heard him take a deep breath, but I couldn't stop. I pressed his palm to my breast and then brought my lips to his. His fingers moved until they settled over the nipple of my breast and I moaned. We kissed and petted for a few more moments. The spiraling heat and passion that was turning into wider and wider circles, encompassing most of my body, began to frighten me. I wanted to do more; I wanted Niles to touch me everywhere, but in the background, I could hear Emily chanting: "Sinner, sinner, sinner." Finally, I pulled away.

"I'd better get home," I said. "Emily will know what time I left school and how long it takes me to get home."

"Sure," Niles said, even though he looked very disappointed. We both stood up and brushed off our clothes. Then, without speaking we hurried over the path and out to the road again. At the turnoff to his house, we paused and looked up and down the road. No one was in sight, so we chanced a quick good-bye kiss, just a peck on the lips. But his lips were on mine all the way home and didn't lift away until I saw Doctor Cory's carriage at the house. My heart sank.

Eugenia, I thought. Oh no, something's wrong with Eugenia. I ran the rest of the way, hating myself for just feeling so good while poor Eugenia was in some desperate battle for her very life.

I burst through the doorway and then stood in the entryway, gasping for breath. Panic seized me in a tight grip and I couldn't move. I could hear the subdued voices coming from the corridor to Eugenia's room. They grew louder and louder until Doctor Cory appeared with Papa beside him and Mamma trailing behind them, her face streaked with tears, a handkerchief clutched in her hand. One look at Doctor Cory's face told me this was more serious than ever.

"What's wrong with Eugenia?" I cried. Mamma started to cry harder, moaning loudly. Papa looked beet red with embarrassment and rage.

"Stop that, Georgia. It doesn't do anyone any good and just makes things worse for the rest of us."

"You don't want to get yourself sick, too, Georgia," Doctor Cory said softly. Mamma's wail lowered to a whimper. Then she set eyes on me and shook her head.

"Eugenia's dying," she moaned. "It don't seem fair, but on top of everything else, she's come down with smallpox."

"Smallpox!"

"With her body as weak as it is, she doesn't stand much chance," Doctor Cory said. "It came on her quicker than it would a normally healthy person and she doesn't have much left to fight with," he said. "She's about as far gone as a person who's had it more than a week."

I started to cry. My body heaved with the sobs so hard and fast, my chest ached. Mamma and I embraced, both burying our tears in each other's shoulders.

"She's . . . in a deep . . . coma right now," Mamma gasped between sobs. "Doctor Cory says it's only a matter of hours and the Captain wants her to die here like most of the Booths anyway."

"No!" I screamed and tore myself out of her arms. I ran down the corridor to Eugenia's room where I found Louella sitting at the bedside.

"Oh Lillian, honey," she said, standing up. "You gotta stay away. It's contagious."

"I don't care," I cried, and went to Eugenia.

Her chest heaved and fell, heaved and fell with her struggle to breathe. There were dark circles around her shut eyes and her lips were blue. Her skin had already taken on the pallor of a corpse, the pustules rearing their ugly heads. I went to my knees beside her and pressed the back of her small hand to my lips, the lips that had just enjoyed Niles Thompson's kiss. My tears dropped on Eugenia's wrist and hand.

"Please don't die, Eugenia," I muttered. "Please don't die."

"She can't help herself none," Louella said. "It's in God's hands now."

I looked up at Louella and then at Eugenia, and the fear of losing my precious sister Eugenia turned my heart to cold stone. I swallowed. The ache in my chest was so sharp, I thought I would pass out at Eugenia's bedside.

Her little chest heaved again, only harder this time and there was a strange rattle in Eugenia's throat.

"I'd better get the doctor," Louella said, and rushed away.

"Eugenia," I said, rising to sit on the bed beside her as I had done so many times before. "Please don't leave me. Please fight. Please." I pressed her hand to my face and rocked back and forth on the be

d. Then I smiled and laughed.

"I've got to tell you all about what happened to me at school today and what Niles Thompson did to defend me. You want to hear that, don't you? Don't you, Eugenia? And guess what?" I whispered, leaning toward her. "He and I went to the magic pond again. Yes, we did. And we kissed and kissed. You want to hear all about it, don't you, Eugenia? Don't you?"

Her chest lifted. I heard Papa and Doctor Cory come in behind me. Her chest fell and her throat rattled again, only this time her mouth opened. Doctor Cory put his fingers on the sides of her throat and then opened her eyelids. I looked up at him as he turned toward Papa and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Jed," he said. "She's gone."

"NOOOO!" I screamed. "NOOOOO!"

Doctor Cory closed Eugenia's eyes.

I screamed again and again. Louella had her arms around me and was lifting me from the bed, but I didn't feel her. I felt as if I were floating off with Eugenia, as if I had turned to air. I looked toward the doorway for Mamma, but she wasn't there.