Darkest Hour (Cutler 5)

"Satan!" Emily screamed. "I see Satan!"

"No, Sister," the minister said. "No."

But Emily was firm. She lifted her arm up and straight at me, her finger pointing.

"Get thee back, Satan," she ordered.

The minister turned to me, his face now registering fear, too. I could read his thoughts in his look of terror. If Emily, his most devout follower, the most religious young person he had ever confronted, said she had a vision of Satan before her, it must be so.

I ran from the room and went up to my own room to wait for the funeral to begin. The minutes seemed like hours. Finally, the time came and I went out to accompany Mamma and Papa. Papa had to hold her firmly as they went down the stairs and joined the burial party. Henry had the carriage pulled up front, right behind the hearse. His head was bowed and when he gazed at me, I saw his eyes were filled with tears. Mamma, Papa, Emily, the minister and I got into the carriage. The mourners were lined up behind us all the way down the driveway, under the avenue of dark cedars. I saw the Thompson twins and Niles standing with their parents. Niles's face was full of sympathy and sorrow and when I saw the warmth in his eyes, I wished he could be sitting beside me in the carriage, holding my hand and holding me in his comforting embrace.

It was a perfect funeral day, gray with an overcast sky in which the clouds just seemed to hang mournfully above us. There was a slight breeze. All of our servants and laborers gathered to walk along silently. Just before the procession began, I saw a flock of chimney swallows burst into the sky and turn toward the woods as though they had to flee such a flood of sadness.

Mamma began to cry softly. Papa sat stoically, facing the front, his arms at his sides, his face gray. I held onto Mamma's hand. Emily and the minister sat across from us glued to their Bibles.

Only when I saw Eugenia's coffin being lifted and carried to her grave did I fully understand that my sister—my dearest friend—was gone from me forever. Papa finally embraced Mamma firmly and she was able to lean against him and lower her head to his shoulder as the minister read the final prayers.

When I heard the words, "dust into dust . . ." I began to sob so hard that Louella came forward and put her arm around me. She and I cried together. After it was over, the burial party turned from the grave site and walked away silently. Doctor Cory joined Papa and Mamma at the carriage and whispered some words of comfort to Mamma. She looked nearly unconscious, her head back, her eyes shut. The carriage took us back to the house, where Louella and Tottie helped take Mamma inside and up the stairs to her room.

All the rest of that day, people came and went. I stayed in the sitting room greeting them and accepting their condolences again and again. I could see that whenever they approached Emily, she had a way of making them feel uncomfortable. Funerals were hard for people anyway, and Emily did little to make people feel welcome or put them at ease. They were much more eager to speak with me. They all said the same sort of things, telling me how important it was for me to be strong and help my mother, and how poor Eugenia's suffering had mercifully ended.

Niles was very nice, bringing me something to eat and drink and remaining close by for most of the day. Every time he approached me, Emily glared from across the room, but I didn't care. Finally, Niles and I were able to get away from the mourners and step outside. We strolled around the west side of the house.

"It's not right that someone as nice as Eugenia should die so young," Niles said finally. "I don't care what the minister said at the grave."

"Don't let Emily hear you say that or she will have you condemned to hell," I muttered. Niles laughed. We paused and looked in the direction of the family graveyard. "It's going to be very lonely for me without my little sister," I said. Niles didn't say anything, but I felt him take my hand and squeeze it gently.

The sun was going down. Dark shadows had begun to spread over the fields and out from under the twisted cedars. In the distance the clouds had begun to break up and the blue-black sky could be seen with its promise of stars. Niles put his arm around me. It just seemed right. And then I lowered my head to his shoulder. We stood there silently, looking over the grounds of The Meadows, two young people confused and stunned by the mixture of beauty and tragedy, by the power of life and the power of death.

"I know you'll miss your sister," Niles said, "but I'll do what I can to keep you from being lonely," he promised. And then he kissed my forehead.

"Thought so," we heard Emily say, and we both spun around to see her standing behind us. "I thought you two would be out here doing this sort of thing, even on this day."

"We're not doing anything wrong, Emily. Leave us alone," I snapped back at her, but she only smiled. She turned toward Niles.

"Fool," she said. "She'll only poison you just as she's poisoned everything and everyone from the day she was born."

"You're the only poison around here," Niles retorted. Emily shook her head.

"You deserve what you get," she spit. "You deserve whatever suffering and hardship she

brings you."

"Get away from us!" I ordered. "Get away." I reached down and picked up a stone. "Or I swear, I'll hit you with this. I will," I said, raising my arm.

Emily amazed me by stepping forward defiantly, not an iota of fear in her face.

"Do you think you could harm me? I have a fortress around me. My devotion has built strong walls to keep you from touching me. But you," she said, directing herself at Niles, "you have no such fortress. The fingers of the devil are curling around your very soul as we speak. God have mercy on you," she concluded, and turned to walk away.

I dropped the stone and began to cry. Niles embraced me quickly.

"Don't let her scare you," he said. "She doesn't scare me."

"Oh Niles, what if she's right?" I moaned. "What if I am a curse?"

"Then you're the prettiest and nicest curse I know," he replied, and wiped away my tears before kissing me on the cheek.

I looked into his soft dark eyes and smiled.