Twilight's Child (Cutler 3)

"I didn't accuse her, Jimmy. I asked her if she knew anything about it, and she got hysterical on me," I said.

"That's my point," he fired. "You knew how sensitive and fragile she is because of all that's happened to her. Of all people, you should be more sympathetic, Dawn. She came running to me and was crying so hard, I thought I would never calm her down. My shirt is soaked with her tears," he added.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy. I was only trying to head off a bigger problem. I thought—"

"I promised her I would talk to you and that later you would apologize to her," he said.

I stared at him a moment. His words and anger left me numb. Tears flooded my eyes, but I held them back.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Jimmy," I said softly.

"It's not what you did, Dawn, it's how Fern feels. I thought you understood her yearning to be loved, her yearning for family."

"Okay, Jimmy," I said, swallowing my pride. "I'll apologize to her if you think that's the right thing to do."

"It is," he insisted. "And Dawn," he said, standing, "next time there's any sort of problem involving Fern, please come to me with it first."

My heart felt like a chunk of lead in my chest. I couldn't swallow, and one of my burning tears escaped from the corner of my eye, but Jimmy was already on his way out and didn't see it.

"Jimmy!" I cried when he reached the door. He turned back.

"What?"

"What do you suppose did happen to that money?" I asked him pointedly.

"I don't know, Dawn. Mrs. Bradly is getting along in years. It wouldn't surprise me if she found it stuck under some papers one day," he said, and he left.

And suddenly I realized that love could be wicked, too; it could beguile us like witchcraft and turn day into night, black into white and guilt into innocence.

16

FERN'S TRUE COLORS

I DIDN'T WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO FERN BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT would be worse for her than for me if I did so. Despite the terrible thing that had happened to her, I saw that she was a spoiled little girl in so many ways. We weren't helping her mature and change for the better by catering to her like this, I thought, but Jimmy was so upset, I had no choice. When I returned to the house I found her up in her room. This time I knocked on her door, but she made me knock twice before she said "Come in."

"I'm doing my homework," she said as soon as I entered.

"I'm not here to check on that, Fern," I replied softly. She was sitting up in her bed, her books spread over her lap, but I caught sight of one of her romance magazines under her notebook. She lowered her eyes and played with her pencil. "You went to Jimmy and told him I accused you of stealing the money at the front desk," I said.

"Well, you did," she snapped.

I swallowed. I wasn't good at overlooking faults, but I had to do it now.

"I didn't mean to accuse you, Fern. If you thought I did, I'm sorry. Jimmy and I love you very much, and we only want you to be happy here," I told her.

"You don't love me," she retorted, her eyes fixed on me so intently, I nearly lost my breath. She had Daddy Longchamp's temper, all right. I had seen the fire in those black eyes before, especially after he had had too much to drink, and every time they had made my heart shudder.

"Of course I do."

"No, you don't," she accused. "As soon as you found out I wasn't really your sister, you stopped caring about me."

"That's not true, Fern. I always cared about you, worried about you and missed you a great deal, especially right after we were all separated. I told you, I used to be the one to take care of you most of the time." I smiled. "Do you know you said my name before you said anyone else's? It was practically the first word you uttered."

"I don't remember," she said, but her face softened some, and her eyes cooled down.

"You couldn't remember. You were too little, It's true we're not sisters, but we're sisters-in-law. Why don't you think of that?" I asked.

"Sisters-in-law?" The realization intrigued her.