Gates of Paradise (Casteel 4)

"Oh, Drake, can it really be true? Are they truly dead and gone?"

"Yes, and it's a miracle you're alive. I saw the car. It's a total wreck."

"I can't move my legs. They don't even feel like they're there."

"I know. Tony told me what the doctors think. He's going to do everything for you, Heaven. He's an amazing and wonderful man. As soon as he heard the news, he turned the full power and wealth of his Tatterton empire to work. Doctors have been flown in and will be at your side continually. He's moved in one of his managers so that Logan's factory in Winnerrow can continue, because, as he says, it was so important to Logan and Heaven that the people here have something significant. He swears it will never go out of business and will even expand. He's already asked me if I would consider running it someday, after I graduate from college.

"And then he told me he plans to fix up Farthinggale again, just so you can recuperate in a wonderful setting. We're lucky to have him, Annie, at a time of such great need."

"But I don't want to go to Farthinggale! I want to go home, Drake! Farthinggale wasn't supposed to be a hospital; it was supposed to be . . . a special place, a paradise. Please, Drake."

"Annie, it's hard for you to think clearly now. You've got to l

eave that to other, older and wiser people who are not as close to the tragedy as you are. We've got to do what's best for you. You want that, don't you? You want to walk again, to go on with your life."

"My life? Without Mommy, without Daddy? Away from everyone? Luke? You? All the people I love? How can I go on with my life?"

"You must, Annie. It's what Heaven would want, what Logan would want, and if I didn't tell you to do so, I would be at fault. Your parents weren't the kind of people who gave up on anything, Annie. You've got to be the same way. No matter what the obstacles, go forward and overcome them."

No matter what the obstacles, I thought. Go for the tall ones, I thought. Luke's advice, too.

"I won't be far away from you, Annie. I'll be nearby. I'll be going back to Boston today, and come visit you at the hospital there. I know it's impossible for you to think of all this now because it's all happening so fast, but trust in those who love you. Please," he pleaded.

I took a deep breath and lowered my head to the pillow. The weight of the world seemed to press on me. My lids were heavy again and I felt very dizzy and tired. Maybe if I fell asleep and woke up, this would all be one terrible nightmare, I thought, and I would awaken in my own room at Hasbrouck House.

It would be morning and Mommy would come in full of her usual energy, talking about the things we were going to do this morning. Downstairs, Daddy would be having his coffee and reading his Wall Street Journal. I would shower and dress and bounce down the stairs to greet a new and bright day, and he would kiss me good-bye before he went off to the factory, just as he did every morning. I settled into my misty dream.

"Roland has my breakfast ready," I muttered.

"Huh?" Drake said.

"I've got to eat and get started. Mother and I are going shopping today. I need a new dress for Maggie Templeton's birthday party, and we want to get something special as a present. Don't make fun of us, Drake. I see you smiling."

"Annie . . ." His hands cupped my head, but I couldn't keep my eyes open, so he let my head settle back on the pillow.

"The toy cottage . . . it's so beautiful . . . so beautiful . . . thank you, Mommy. I'll cherish it forever and forever and forever. . . . "

"Annie . ."

Was that Daddy's voice still calling? Daddy, don't stop calling me, please. Daddy . . .

Into the warm and comforting arms of sleep, I turned and lowered myself slowly, shutting away the ugly and horrible light that wanted to come bursting into my fantasy world and burn it away.

"Let's not let it do that, Luke. Let's not. I know . . . Go for the tallest mountains . . . the view, the view . . ."

"Oh, Annie, you must get well again," Drake whispered, and took my hand into his. But in my dream I took Luke's hand and we rushed across the lawn toward our make-believe paradise where I felt safe and secure again. And I could sleep.

When I awoke, Tony's doctors and private nurse were looking down at me. A tall, dark man with a thin reddish-brown mustache and soft hazel eyes held my hand and smiled down at me.

"Hello there," he said. "I'm Dr. Malisoff and I'll be taking care of you until you're well again."

I looked up at him, his face slowly coming into sharper and sharper focus until I could even make out the small, thin wrinkles that crossed his forehead as if someone had drawn lines there with a pencil.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked. My lips were so dry, I had to keep running my tongue over them. Instead of answering me, he turned to the younger doctor at his side. He had blond hair and light skin and there were patches of tiny freckles under his eyes.

"This is my assistant, Dr. Carson. We'll both be attending you."

"Hi," the younger doctor said. He was studying a chart the nurse beside him held.