Gates of Paradise (Casteel 4)

"Me? Why should anyone blame me? I couldn't red tag your visiting hours or cut off your phone calls."

"I just thought--"

"Oh no, Annie. I think now, if anything, everyone agrees with me," she said. A wide, sharp smile of self-satisfaction crawled over her face, making her look more like an arrogant cat settling on a fine sofa for a nap.

A few moments later Tony reentered my room and came to the side of my bed.

"Are you really feeling better now?"

"Oh yes, Tony."

He looked so worried, his blue eyes cloudy, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening.

"I was careless, too. I should have realized . . ."

"Now everyone can't go around blaming everyone else and themselves. It's over," I said. "Please, let's forget it."

"Oh, we're not going to forget it. The doctor told me everything he told you. I've already agreed with him. New orders are being given."

"New orders?'

He nodded at Mrs. Broadfield and she went right to my telephone and disconnected it from the wall.

"My phone!" I protested

"No calls for a while, Annie. Doctor's orders." "But Luke is supposed to call me right after graduation to tell me how his speech went," I cried in dismay.

"I'm going downstairs to the telephone operator right after I leave this room, Annie, and have them redirect all your calls to my office, where either I or Drake can take them for you. I'll bring all the news and information to you immediately. I promise, and you know I keep my promises, right?"

I looked away. Luke would feel so terrible; he would blame himself, and it was so important for him to talk to me after the speech. I felt the tears trying to work themselves up again, and my pitter-patter heart quickly became a heavy thumping drum in my chest. But I remembered Dr. Malisoff's lecture. I had to develop the thick skin or I would slow down my recuperation. For a while, just for a while, some sacrifices had to be made.

"We're all trying to do what is best for you, Annie, as directed by the best physicians and nurses money can buy. Believe me. Please."

&

nbsp; "I believe you, Tony. I just feel sorry for Luke."

Tony looked at me with great fondness and sympathy. "I'll tell you what. I'm going to send him a telegram from you right now wishing him good luck. Won't that buoy his spirits?"

"Oh yes, Tony. What a great idea," I said excitedly.

"And . . . and I'll call him personally and tell him you're all right, but the doctor has made new orders and for a while you have to remain quiet and undisturbed," he instructed.

"Please, tell him not to blame himself for calling me."

"Oh, of course I will. And if I think he doesn't believe me, have the doctor call him, too," he offered with a gentle smile.

"You would?"

"Annie," he said, his face turning serious, "I will do anything in my power to get you back on your feet and return you to happiness. I know that's going to be hard to do because you lost the people you most cherished in your life, but all I ask is an opportunity to replace them in a small way. Will you let me try?"

"Yes," I said softly, impressed with the intensity of his eyes and the determination in his voice. Was this the same voice my mother heard pleading for forgiveness? How could she turn him away?

"Thank you. Well now,Ill let you rest, butIll be back this evening," he promised.

He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. "Drake's waiting to hear about you, too."

"Give him my love."