Gates of Paradise (Casteel 4)

"Now, I should let you get your rest."

"I'm too excited to sleep." I was reminded about my nightgown. "But Tony, why am I wearing a different nightgown from what I was wearing before I collapsed?"

"Different nightgown?" His smile became a smile of confusion. "I don't understand."

"I wasn't wearing this one before. You changed me, didn't you?"

He shook his head.

"You're probably just confused. You always wore that nightgown. It's your favorite. You've often told me so,"

"I .. I did?" He had me wondering myself, now. I shook my head. It didn't seem all that important anyway.

"Maybe I should give you something to help you sleep. The doctor left instructions to continue your sedatives."

"I hate sleeping pills. They give me

nightmares," I cried.

"Now Annie, you've got to continue to do the things that have helped you reach this point of recovery, don't you?" he said in a soothing voice. "The doctor thinks you should, and after all, that's what we're paying him for--his medical knowledge. I'll be right back."

Moments later he returned with the pill and a glass of water. Reluctantly, I took it and swallowed it. Then I fell back against the pillow. He fixed my blanket and turned down the lights. Then he returned to my bedside and took my hand.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"Yes." My voice sounded so small. I wished so much that it was my daddy's hand I was holding.

"That's good; that's the way it will be from now on," Tony said. "I'll always be here for you. Just call. I'll listen for your call, Annie, and I'll come as quickly as I can."

"But you can't devote all your time to me, Tony. You have a business to run," I declared.

"Oh, I don't worry about my business. It runs itself, and I have competent people in charge, including Drake now. Don't you ever think you're a burden for me," he added, patting my hand.

"Are you going to get a new nurse tomorrow?"

"I'll call the agency first thing in the morning," he assured me. "Sleep well." He knelt down and kissed my cheek, this time his lips lingering much longer against my skin, his hand pressed firmly over my shoulder as if he never wanted to let go. "Good night."

"Good night; Tony," I said, and watched him walk slowly out of the room, moving like one of Rye Whiskey's ghosts, turning off the lights as he went, the darkness dropping behind him.

Even with the sleeping pill, I was too excited to fall asleep quickly. Every once in a while I would try to move my toes and feel the tingle in my feet and the sensation of them moving against the blanket. I imagined I was not unlike a newborn baby

discovering her limbs, discovering her own body. Each tiny movement, each feeling, brought new wonder. Oh, how I wished I had someone who was close, someone very close to share this physical comeback with me! How wonderful it would be if Luke were here when I stood up! He would embrace me and hold me against him, kiss me and stroke my hair. I smiled to myself imagining it, hearing him whisper in my ear as he ran his fingers along my shoulders. It made me tingle just to imagine it. Oh, Luke, I cried, am I being horribly sinful thinking these thoughts?

Finally the sleeping pill Tony gave me took effect. I felt myself growing more and more groggy, my eyelids growing heavier and heavier, until it was hard to keep them open. I closed them and the next thing I knew, there was sunlight on my face and Tony was opening the curtains. He was still in his robe and slippers, but he had already shaved. The room reeked of his after-shave lotion.

My first fearful thought was I had dreamt everything--the sensations in my legs and feet, my effort to stand, and my actual standing. But I concentrated on moving my feet, and to and behold, t

his time my leg folded inward.

"Tony!" I cried. He spun around as if I had poked him in the back of his neck. "My legs . . . they're easier to move and they feel so much better."

He nodded quickly and continued to open curtains and move about the room, getting things ready for me to be helped out of bed, washed and dressed.

"You should wear this today, Annie," he said, taking one of Mommy's old dresses from the closet. He held it up admiringly. "You look great in it."

"I never wore that, Tony."

"Then you should. You'll look great in it. Take my word for it."