at least one night with you! And if you think you can
scare me off, you are quite wrong. I'm in your life,
Troy, deep into your life. And if the winter makes you sad and morbid, then together we'll follow the sun, and all during those nights my arms will hold you fast
you'll never have another nightmare!"
But even as I passionately reached for him, my
heart teetered on the edge of a precipice, ready to
plunge and die if he rejected me!
"I don't want to hear anymore!" I cried before
my lips pressed down on his. "Not now, please not
now!"
PART TWO Thirteen January in July
. SEVERAL TIMES TROY TRIED TO TELL ME HIS cheerless tale of winter and weakness and death. But I was protective of our joy and passion and I kissed him into silence, again and again. For three nights and two days we were ardent lovers who could not bear to be parted for more than a few minutes at a time. We didn't go beyond the gardens that
surrounded Farthy, didn't even risk riding through the woods anymore. We chose the safe paths for our horses, never going too far, eager to return to the cottage and the security of each other's arms. And then one early evening when the rain had moved off to sea and the sun finally showed again on the horizon, Troy again held me on the floor in front of his fire. This time he was very insistent.
"You have to listen. Don't try to put me off again. I don't want to ruin your life just because there's a shadow over mine."
"Will your story ruin what we have now?" "I don't know. That will be your decision." "And you are willing to risk losing me?" "No, I hope never to lose you, but if I have to, I will."
"No!" I cried, jumping up and racing for his doorway. "Let me have all of this summer without thought of winter!"
Out of his cottage, and into the maze I walked, through the chill evening mists that were gathering in the tight lanes of the hedges. To my great consternation, I almost dashed headlong and heedless into the small group that was before the front steps of Farthinggale Manor, unloading Tony's long black limousine.
Jillian and Tony were back! Quickly I ducked again into the maze. I didn't want them to see me now, coming back from Troy's cottage.
As the chauffeur carried in the luggage, I heard Tony rebuke Jillian for not having notified me. "You mean you didn't call Heaven yesterday as you promised?"
"Really, Tony, I thought about it several times, but there were interruptions, and she'll be more surprised and thrilled if we return unexpectedly. I know at her age, I'd have been delighted to receive all the nice things we've brought her from London."
As soon as they disappeared into the house, I ran to the side door and up the back stairs to my rooms, and once there, I hurled myself down on the bed and broke into a torrent of tears, tears that I quickly dried when Tony knocked on my door and called my name.
"We're home, Heaven. May I come in?"
In a way I was very glad to see him again, he was so smiling and animated as he plied me with questions as to what I'd been doing, and how I had managed to keep myself happy, occupied, and entertained.
Oh, the lies I told should make Granny flip over in her grave. Behind my back I kept my fingers crossed. He asked about my graduation ceremony, said again he was very sorry he had had to miss it. He quizzed me about the parties I'd attended, whom I'd seen, and had I met any young men? And not once did he look suspicious as the lies rolled from my tongue. Why didn't he suspect it was Troy I'd find most convenient? Had he forgotten all the rules he'd laid out for me to obey?
"Good," he said, "I'm glad you enjoyed summer television fare. I find TV a bore, but then, I didn't grow up in the Willies." He gave me a broad smile of great charm, even if it did appear mocking. "I hope you found time to read a few good books."
"I always find time to read."
His blue eyes narrowed as he leaned to hug me briefly before he turned again toward the door. "Before dinner Jillian and I want to give you all the gifts we very carefully selected for you. Now, how about washing the tear stains from your face before you change your clothes for the evening."
I hadn't fooled him, only deluded myself into believing he wasn't as discerning as before.
Still, when I was in the library, and Jillian was wearing a long hostess gown, smiling at me as I opened my gifts from London, he didn't ask what had made me cry. "Do you like everything?" asked Jillian, who had given me clothes, clothes, and more clothes. "The sweaters will fit, won't they?"
"Everything is beautiful, and yes, the sweaters will fit."