Web of Dreams (Casteel 5)

"What ways, Daddy?"

"What ways? Well, for example, she would love me to take her on one of these cruises and act like just another passenger . . . sleep late every day, eat and then recline on the deck or play shuffleboard. In the evening, she would like me to take her dancing and dance all night into the wee hours, drinking champagne, and then sleep late again, and not ask one question of my staff about the business or the conduct of the voyage."

He smiled.

"At times she can be so childlike, so hungry for excitement and fun. I've never seen a woman who has your mother's appetite when it comes to enjoyment and pleasure. I couldn't give her enough diamonds or take her to too many fine restaurants. She's insatiable.

"Oh, I understand her. Your mother is young, beautiful, vivacious. On the other hand, here I am working long hours, deeply involved in a major family-owned enterprise, with little time for frivolities. If your mother had her way," he added shaking his head, "I'd play five hours for every hour worked. But, I'm afraid I can't do that, and even if I could, I probably wouldn't, not only because I'm too old for it, but because it's not part of who I am.

"And so, to answer your question, that's why your mother is disappointed," he concluded and smiled softly at me.

I couldn't keep the tears hidden any longer. As soon as the first one appeared, Daddy got up and came to me.

"Now, now, let's not have any of tin. t. Don't make me regret having this grown-up talk with you, Leigh."

"I won't, Daddy." I wiped my eyes quickly and held back the rest of my tears. My heart ached, but I smiled. "What's going to happen now, Daddy?" I asked.

"We'll see. Your mother wanted to have some time by herself to think things out. In the meantime, young Captain VanVoreen, you and I have a cruise to run, understand?"

"Yes, addy."

"Now, here's my first command. You go with your girlfriends and their parents to dinner and enjoy yourself."

"But what if they start asking me questions about Momma?" I asked. He thought for a moment.

"You say, there were some serious family matters back home that had to have immediate attention. No one would ask you any more than that, and if they did, just tell them your parents didn't tell you more.

"So," he said clapping his hands together, "that should take care of that. Tomorrow you can go shopping in the bazaar and buy all your friends back home something, if you'd like. In the afternoon you can go swimming on the beach, and then in the evening, you and I will go to an authentic Jamaican restaurant and eat something called jerk chicken. One of the porters who happens to come from Jamaica was telling me about it. How does all that sound?"

"Wonderful, Daddy."

"Good. Now get on with you. I want a full report afterward. How's that logbook of yours? Filling up?"

"Oh yes, I write in it every day."

"Good." He kissed me on the cheek and I hugged him tightly and inhaled his familiar scents-- the fragrance of his after-shave and cologne, the aroma of his pipe tobacco, and that fresh and clean smell of the sea.

I wished he and I had had talks like this before. In one way Momma was very right to be jealous of the time he spent on his business. t Wished he had spent more time with me and told me about himself when he was my age and younger. I realized he had never really given me his version of the Cinderella story between him and Momma. Perhaps I could get him to do that someday. Daddy was so modest though. Would he really describe what it was like when he first set eyes on Momma? And would he be willing to describe himself proposing on his knees? He never really expressed any dislike for Grandma Jana or Momma's two sisters. Whenever she ranted and raved about them in front of him and me, he would simply nod or look away. I wanted to know so much more. Hopefully, now that he saw me as older and more mature, he would talk about these things.

My little talk with Daddy in the captain's office did cheer me up enough so that I could go to dinner with the Spensers. They took me to a delightful Italian restaurant called The Casablanca. The tables were set out under the stars and there was a small three-piece band and a singer who crooned romantic songs. Mr. and Mrs. Spenser danced so closely and were so loving and tender with each other, my girlfriends were embarrassed. They giggled like grade school children. I could understand why they were self-conscious about their parents, but I thought it was wonderful to see a husband and wife so loving and affectionate with each other. I couldn't help but close my eyes and imagine they were my parents, imagine Momma and Daddy on this small dance floor with the stars twinkling above and the singer serenading them with songs of love.

Daddy had said love blinds you. When you fall in love, do you have a chance to think about all these things? Do you have a chance to envision what it will be like years and years from now? The way Momma now spoke about Daddy made me feel that if she could have seen what it would be like when he first proposed, she might not have accepted, even if it meant her remaining in Texas with her dreadful sisters.

"When I fall in love," I told the Spenser sisters, "I want it to be just like it is for your parents." They both looked at me, undecided as to whether or not to laugh. They were laughing at everything at this point. My serious expression kept them from doing much more than smiling, although imagined they would talk about me later in their stateroom. It was true we were all about the same age, but I felt so much older than they were.

It was all so confusing for me. Maybe age wasn't important if you had grown up. Maybe what Daddy was telling me back on the ship was that he thought Momma hadn't yet grown up, or grown up the way he had hoped she would.

The music and the stars began to make me sad now. I was happy when it was time to return to the ship. Daddy saw us come aboard and spoke with Mr. and Mrs. Spenser for a while, thanking them for taking me to dinner. Then he asked me how I enjoyed it.

"It was fun," I told him, half telling the truth, half lying. "lut I can't wait until tomorrow night when it will just be you and me, Daddy."

"Oh dear," he said, "it will have to be the following night. I'm sorry. But we ha

ve a very important guest coming to dinner aboard ship tomorrow night--the governor of the Island. You understand, don't you, Princess?"

I swallowed my disappointment quickly and put on a mask of smiles just the way Momma could.

"Yes, Daddy. I'm tired," I told him. "I'll just go to sleep."