Web of Dreams (Casteel 5)
Page 173
"You going to be all right here?" he asked.
"Why? Where are you going?"
"Back to my tent."
"Well, why can't you stay here? There's another bed and you paid for the room, Luke. You shouldn't have to go back to a bed of hay." I know I sounded a bit desperate, but I had never stayed in a motel room before, much less stayed in one by myself.
"Sure you don't mind?"
"Of course I don't mind."
"Well then, okay. I guess I can get up early enough to water and feed the animals."
"You can watch television, if you're not tired yet," I said lowering my head. Now that he was going to stay with me, I could relax. "It won't . . . bother me . . ."
Sleep came over me that fast, but I woke with a start in the middle of the night and forgot where I was. I couldn't help crying out in fear. Seconds later, I felt Luke beside me in the dark.
"Angel, Angel," he said, stroking my hair. "It's all right. You're safe. It's Luke. I'm right here with you. Don't you worry about a thing. I don't want you to ever worry about a thing," he added in a whisper. I realized where I was, but I was still so sleepy that I only vaguely felt his lips on my cheek and heard his words. The words seemed more like words in a dream anyway, words whispered by my guardian angel.
"I want to take care of you from now on, protect you, love you. Never again will anyone, even someone rich and powerful, hurt you. I'll take you to a world where no one evil can reach you, a world in which you will be surrounded only by soft, happy and natural things, where the music comes from songbirds and the diamonds are the stars and the gold is in the sunlight and autumn leaves. Will you come with me, my Angel? Will you?"
"Yes," I muttered. "Oh yes, yes," I said and then I was asleep again.
I awoke in the morning and found Luke beside me in my bed. I had fallen asleep in his arms and I had never felt as safe or as happy. His eyes fluttered open and he gazed upon me for a moment before smiling. Then he kissed me softly on the lips.
"Good morning," he said. "How do you feel?"
"Much better. But why . ."
"Why did I get into your bed? You had a bad dream, I think, and woke up screaming. I calmed you down and fell asleep beside you. Did you forget all of it?" he asked with some disappointment. "All I said and you said?"
"I think so, although there are words in my mind that seem like dream words."
"They weren't dream words; they were mine and I meant them," he said, with that tight look of determination again. "I told you I wanted to look after you, to protect you, always and forever, and I meant it."
"What are you saying, Luke?" I sat up, holding the blanket against me, for I was in my thin, silk nightgown. He sat up, too.
"I know you're carrying your stepfather's baby, but no one else has to know that. Let everyone think it's mine. I want it to be mine because I want you to be mine."
"What do you mean?" I understood, but I had to hear him say it.
"I mean I want to marry you, to have you forever and forever as my angel. Oh, I know a life in the circus wouldn't be a good life for two young people just getting started, especially if they were expectin' a baby. But I thought it all out," he continued excitedly. "I want to take you back to the Willies with me, start all over. I got plans and ideas. I want to earn enough money to get my own farm started, and I can do it too, Angel.
"Oh, I ain't sayin' it won't be hard in the beginnin'," he went on before I could interrupt, "real hard. We'll hafta stay with my folks for a spell, but I'll work day and night earnin' enough money to get us that down payment so we can start our own home.
"You'll love it there, Angel. I promise you will. It's not what you're accustomed to, by no means, of course," he said, speaking very quickly, "but it's a pure, free life, a life in nature, a life away from corruption and people who care more about themselves than their loved ones."
"Luke, you want to be the father of my baby? You want this?" I asked, still disbelieving.
"As long as it means I'll have you, too, Angel. Don't go to your grandmother's," he pleaded. "It doesn't sound like you'd be happy there anyway. You hardly know her and she's old, set in her ways. Besides," he said, striking at a fear I harbored in my own heart, "what if she doesn't believe you? What if she thinks you're just like her daughter? She might send you back.
"I'll never send you back, Angel," he concluded firmly. "But you can't return to the Willies to work. You love the circus, Luke," I cried. I had seen it in his eyes.
"Not half as much as I love you, Angel. Nothing as special or as sweet and precious has ever come into my life before. I feel so complete when I'm with you, so hopeful. I don't doubt I can do everything I dream of doin' as long as I have you. You make me feel important, just as important as anyone else. I'd work myself to the bone for you. Won't you say yes? Please."
I was speechless for a moment. Nearly fourteen years ago, my mother had become pregnant about my age and then tricked the man I thought was my daddy into marrying her, never telling him the truth. Would he have wanted her the way Luke now wanted me, if he had known the truth? How different would my life have been in the beginning? How different was it going to be for my baby having a father who knew and accepted the truth? I really believed Luke's love for me was so strong and so full, there was enough of it to spill over and embrace my baby too.
I felt hope sweep back all fear and trepidation. This handsome, loving young man wanted me no matter what, wanted me even though he had heard my story and knew my condition. He loved me so much he was willing to consider my baby his baby and give up things he wanted just to please me.