arly February thaw. There was one cloudless day after another, the sun beaming down and melting the ice off tree branches. At night, the melted snow and ice gleamed like diamonds, turning the forest around us into a jeweled wonderland.
The way I figured my pregnancy, I was only weeks away from giving birth. Ma was as good as a trained midwife, having delivered dozens of Willies babies as well as six of her own. Luke wanted to take me into town to see the town doctor, but I felt safe with Ma and didn't see why Luke should spend nearly two months' salary on a doctor that would only do the same thing when the time came.
The baby was active and I found myself out of breath often. My lower back ached. I wanted to do my fair share of the work, but Ma insisted I rest more. She encouraged me to walk as much as I could, however.
When the weather let up some and winter eased its grip on the forest, Luke and I would take our nightly walk to the ridge overlooking the valley. From our mountain view, the unobstructed winter night sky was spectacular.
If there is something for me to remember more than anything, I suppose it would be this early February night. I was all bundled up. Even though it wasn't as cold as it had been, Luke insisted I wear the sweaters and the coat, the sock hat Ma knitted for me and gloves I made myself after she taught me how. But when we arrived at the ridge, I slipped off my woolen gloves so I could hold his hand in mine and feel the warmth in his fingers.
We stood there quietly for a moment, both of us dazzled by the thousands and thousands of stars spread out before us across the deep black night. Houses below us threaded through the valley, their windows lit and looking like stars themselves. They twinkled with the warmth of families around fireplaces. I could almost hear the laughter and the music and the quiet talk.
"Someday," Luke said, "someday soon, one of those houses down there in the valley is gonna be ours. I swear it, Angel."
"I know it will, Luke. I believe in you."
"We'll be sittin' in our livin' room and I'll have my feet up and I'll be smokin' my pipe and you'll be knittin' or crochetin' and our baby will be playin' on the floor between us, all of us warm and safe.
"That's all I want, Angel. Is that too much of a dream?"
"I don't think so, Luke."
"Ma and Pa think it's as far out of reach as those houses below," he said sadly.
"That's only because it has been for them, but it won't be for us, Luke."
He nodded and embraced me, holding me to him. We stood there with the stars above and before us, two small people alone in the winter night, whispering their love for each other. My baby kicked.
"Feel it, Luke?" I asked putting his hand on my stomach. He smiled.
"I think it's a girl, Luke."
"Maybe. I love you, Angel." He turned to me. "I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman."
My baby kicked again and my stomach felt hard. I had more pain tonight than I had ever had. The last few days, I had woken with pain in the night and even in the morning, but I didn't complain because I didn't want Luke to worry and stay home from work. The pain might only mean it was getting close, I thought, although Ma didn't seem happy about it.
"I think she wants to come out and join us, Luke. It's getting close to the time."
"Well, there'd be no better time than now," he said. "With the heavens blazing so, with all these stars, it's a good night for a baby to come, especially if it's a girl and we name her Heaven."
A sharp pain nearly brought me to my knees, but I grimaced and bore it so Luke wouldn't see and be worried. He was so happy and hopeful, I didn't want anything to change his mood. But I couldn't help being a little frightened, even though I imagined it was expected of any woman having her first child, especially a woman as young as I was.
"Oh, Luke, take me back to the cabin and hold me, hold me like you never held me before," I said. He kissed me and we began to return to the cabin.
"Wait," I said stopping him.
I turned back once to get a last glimpse of the stars. "What is it, Angel?" Luke asked.
"When I close my eyes tonight, I want all those stars to appear behind-my lids. I want to feel as if I'm falling asleep in Heaven."
He laughed and then we made a turn in the forest and they were gone.
EPILOGUE
. I turn the page, but there is nothing more written, not on the next page or the next. Finally, I find a paper folded between the last page in the diary and the cover. I open it carefully, for it is so old, it feels like it would crumble in my fingers if I were too rough with it. It's a letter from a detective agency.
.
Dear Mr. Tatterton,