I watched her for a moment and left. As I was walking toward the stairway, however, I heard Daddy ask her why she was doing everything herself.
“Oh, Mother was too tired, Daddy, and Semantha has a load of homework. It’s all right.”
“You’re an angel, Cassie, an angel,” he said.
I didn’t have that much homework, and I was so disturbed by what had happened at school that I probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I could have helped her finish. I wanted to run back and tell that to Daddy, but I also imagined how angry Cassie would be if I contradicted her, so I continued up the stairs. I went to see how Mother was doing. She was already in bed. I had been right to send her up.
“Mother, are you feeling ill?”
“Just a bout of nausea suddenly. I was a little dizzy, too, but it’s passing. I’ll be fine,” she said. “Don’t worry, honey.”
She smiled at me, and I went to her and hugged her. She stroked my hair and smiled.
“When are you going to another party? Doesn’t the school have parties, too? I bet there’s something for the holidays coming up.”
She was right. There was always a holiday party before the break for Christmas vacation, but I had no expectations. Bobbi was probably right. None of the other boys would ask me to go with him.
“Yes, there’s a party before the holiday break.”
“Well, maybe I’ll take you to look for a new dress. We haven’t done that for a while. Maybe this weekend,” she said.
I didn’t want to tell her anything unpleasant or sad, and I remembered Cassie’s warning about attracting pity, so I just smiled and nodded.
“Do you need anything?” I asked.
“No, I’m just going to rest. Go on and do your homework, honey.”
“I’ll come back to say good night,” I promised. She nodded, and I started away. When I reached the door, I looked back at her and saw she had closed her eyes and looked as if she had fallen asleep just that fast.
I don’t care what Cassie says, I thought. We have to look after Mother more. I vowed to do just that and left.
Cassie eventually came around to agreeing with me, anyway. In the days that followed, Cassie was doing more and more for Mother, preparing her breakfast and bringing it up to her before she and I left for school, even some days fixing her lunch so all she had to do was warm up something or uncover something waiting in the refrigerator. Despite all of this resting and Cassie’s and my assuming more and more of Mother’s work in the house, she didn’t appear to be improving. She did her best to hide it all from Daddy, who was very busy with preparations for the new store’s opening and gala.
All of this weighed heavily on my mind. Half the time, I wasn’t listening in school, and I was even embarrassed in social studies class when my teacher asked me a question and I just stared dumbly until Victor Brown, sitting next to me, poked me in the arm. The class broke into laughter, but Mrs. Gerda gave me a zero for failing to pay attention. Of course, everyone who saw it happen and who heard about it later assumed I was in a daze because of what had happened between Kent and me. Kent and, especially, Megan Stein really enjoyed my awkward moment. I saw all the smiling, laughing faces looking my way
later at lunch, too.
Cassie’s right about this school and the students attending it, I thought angrily. They don’t have class. Maybe I’m better off being a snob like she is. I won’t beg for anyone’s friendship. I even considered going back to Mother and asking her to agree to enroll us in private school. It wasn’t a question of the money. We could afford to have both Cassie and me in private school. Mother was just adamant that we would have a better understanding of what she called ‘the real world’ if we weren’t so isolated. If this is the real world, I thought, looking at my fellow students who were enjoying my discomfort so much, then I’d rather be isolated.
I was shocked by Cassie’s reaction when I described what had happened to me in social studies class and why. If anything, I had expected she would repeat all she had told me about the public school and might even go with me to plead for our being transferred to a private school, but instead, she blamed me.
“I told you not to dwell on Mother like this, didn’t I? I told you that doesn’t do anyone any good.”
“But … you’re doting on her, preparing her breakfasts, her lunches, aren’t you?”
“I’m doing it, but I’m not behaving as if she is suffering from some terminal illness, Semantha, and I don’t think about her all day here in school. You come home with this sort of a long face every day, you’ll upset Daddy. Grow up. Be stronger. Everything is going to work out just fine.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what to think anymore,” I whined. “You always warn me about ignoring reality, putting my head in the sand like an ostrich, living in a fantasy.”
“You don’t have to do that. Just try to be more mature about it. Don’t act like a child and cry.”
“I don’t cry.”
“You look like you’re just about to, and Daddy will easily see that, and that will make him worry even more, thank you. Do you want that? Well? Do you?”
“No.”
“Then wash off that look of self-pity. Just go through the day doing the things you’re supposed to do, and leave Mother’s health up to her doctor. They’re supposed to be going there this afternoon,” she added.