“It’s my fault, isn’t it? I should have gone up to check on her earlier.”
“Stop it. You heard Daddy,” she snapped at me. “It’s no one’s fault.”
“Was it an accident, Cassie?” I asked.
She just stood there looking out without speaking for a few moments and then finally turned and shook her head. “An accident? Emptying all those pills into her stomach? How could that be an accident, Semantha? What have I told you about not facing realities, about fantasizing and pretending things aren’t what they are? You’re almost an adult now, Semantha. You have to put away this childish behavior. Things are going to change radically for us. We all have to be stronger, and we have to support each other, protect each other, and especially you and I have our work cut out for us to help Daddy get through this and go on. Do you think you can do that without moaning and whining and fantasizing your way out of difficulties? Well? Do you? I’d like to know.”
“Yes, Cassie,” I said. “But Mother …”
“She’s broken all our hearts. Now, we must mend then,” Cassie said.
She came toward me slowly and put her right palm flat against my forehead.
“Don’t worry. I’ll give you as much of my strength as I can so that you can be stronger.” She closed her eyes and kept her hand on my forehead. Maybe I was imagining again, but it did feel as if something electrical, some energy, traveled down her arm and into my head. I closed my eyes, too.
When I opened them, she had taken her hand away, but had brought her face close to mine and kissed me on the cheek.
“Haven’t I always been more like a mother to you? Haven’t I always stepped in to do the things she neglected to do? Rest, little one,” she said. “There’s much to be done.”
She straightened up quickly, adjusted her dress, and walked out to join the others. A little while later, Dr. Moffet came in to see me.
“How are you doing, Semantha?” he asked. He sat on my bed and took my hand. “Your father’s very worried about you. It’s a shocking thing to have happened, for a child to see.”
“I waited too long,” I said. “I shouldn’t have waited.”
“Your father told me everything. You and Cassie thought you were doing the right thing, Semantha. I’m sure your mother thought she was doing what was best for all of you. It’s unfortunate that none of us fully understood how depressed she was, but it won’t help now to blame yourself. You want me to give you something to help you sleep?”
“No,” I said quickly. I hoped I would never take another pill again.
He nodded. “I understand. Well, I’ll be only a phone call away. You take care of yourself. You girls have to look after your father now. It hasn’t fully hit him yet.” He patted my hand and stood. “I’ve very sorry about all this.” He looked as if he might cry himself.
Later, when Cassie returned to my room, the thing that seemed to bother her the most was that the police were calling Mother’s death a suicide, so we couldn’t tell people it had been an accident, a mix of medicines, or something unintended.
“It will be treated like some sort of a scandal,” she said, “and just when we were getting all this positive press for our stores and Daddy. You can’t imagine how difficult it’s going to be for him to face his employees and the public. I’m sure they’ll find a way to blame it on him.”
“Why?”
“Why? They’ll say he made his wife feel terrible about losing Asa.”
“She did feel terrible, Cassie. Dr. Moffet said she was very depressed.”
“But not because Daddy made her feel that way, and don’t you ever say otherwise,” she said with her eyes wide. After a momen
t, she calmed. “You saw how loving and devoted he was to her, how he tried to get her to get better.”
“The other students in school will look at us the same way, then, when we return, won’t they? They’ll make us feel guilty or strange.”
“Don’t worry yourself about it. We’re not returning to school,” she said.
“What? What do you mean? Why aren’t we?”
“You’re going to have home schooling, tutoring, and then next year, you’ll go to a private school.”
“What about you?”
“I told you I was quitting to be with Daddy. Now it’s definite. He needs me more than ever.”
“Does he know what you intend to do? Did Daddy say I should be home-schooled?”