“When will we know anything?”
“We’ll know as soon as they hit something concrete. They assured me, Haylee. Right now, no news is good news.” It was a dark thing to say, and he knew it the moment he uttered it. “I mean . . . let’s keep hopeful.”
“Okay,” I said.
He moved forward and hugged me. “This is so hard for you, so hard. You’re my little champion.” He kissed me on the forehead. I held on to him a moment longer and then turned and went upstairs.
This was too dreary, I thought. I had to get back into the swing of things earlier than I had planned. I hadn’t realized how boring it could be. I was never as strong as Kaylee when it came to being alone. That was why I dreaded Mother locking us away in the pantry when I did something she thought was wrong. Kaylee could amuse herself, whereas I felt like ants were crawling in circles inside my stomach.
I started to sift through the phone messages and decided to call Ryan Lockhart first. Just before Kaylee’s convenient disappearance, I had been toying with him enough to annoy her. He was Rachel Benton’s boyfriend, and Rachel was one of Kaylee’s good friends. She had called and left a message, too, but I ignored her. She was crying through most of it anyway, a bit over the top, I thought.
It was just this year that Ryan had become more attractive. At six foot three, he was on the basketball team and wore his light-brown hair as long as the coach would permit. To me, Ryan seemed to have filled out overnight. He had stunning blue-green eyes, an impishly flirtatious smile, and a body some ancient Greek sculptor would have loved to use as a model.
I wondered how a girl like Rachel could win his interest. She was pretty, I guessed, but not very sexy. I had told Kaylee so and pointed out that Rachel didn’t wear clothes that would accent her figure and she definitely needed a remedial class in eye makeup. Unlike Kaylee, I hadn’t been afraid to tell Rachel so to her face, either.
“She’s what I would call a convenient girlfriend,” I had told Kaylee. “Too reliable.”
“What? What’s that mean?”
“He doesn’t have to worry about her being there. She’s like a pet poodle. And let me tell you, boys don’t really like that. They act like they do because everyone expects them to, but what they really want is someone with more excitement, more challenge. He’s always looking my way.”
“Stop it,” Kaylee had ordered. “Just stop it. Don’t mess with every other girl’s boyfriend, Haylee. You’ll have everyone hating us.”
“Hating me, you mean,” I said.
And then I had started to flirt with him, especially because she had told me I shouldn’t. Kaylee always believed in her heart of hearts that she carried enough conscience for us both.
Ryan answered his cell phone on the first ring because, I was sure, he saw my number on the caller ID. At the moment, there wasn’t anyone else in our school who was more important for him to talk to, besides the fact that I knew he was already a little more than attracted to me. And contrary to what my mother or anyone else thought, when a boy was attracted to me, it didn’t mean he’d be automatically attracted to Kaylee. Anyone who looked at us for more than one second would see the difference. I was proud that I was sexier and more dangerous. Sweet Kaylee but Hot Haylee, that was my motto. I was even thinking of getting a T-shirt with that written across my breasts.
“Don?
?t tell me how sorry you are,” I said as soon as Ryan said hello. “It will only make me cry.”
“Oh, well, can I ask you if you need anything?”
“Yes. I need lots. I need to get off this floor of dynamite. My parents are on the verge of mental crackups. We have a special nurse here to help with my mother. I’m afraid to leave the house in case there’s news about Kaylee. We’re all on pins and needles.”
“Yikes.”
“Yikes? Who says ‘yikes’?” I finally felt like laughing.
“My father,” he said. “He grew up on a farm in upstate New York, and that was practically the only curse word my grandparents allowed.”
“I bet that changed when he left for college.”
“Not really. Dad’s a . . . bit of a . . .”
“Puritan?” I was going to suggest a few other choice descriptions but thought I’d better not.
“Yeah, right.”
“Are you planning to do anything tonight?” I asked. It was still early.
“Tonight? Oh, I was just about to leave the house to take Rachel to the new Bradley Cooper movie. She likes him.”
“So do I. I wish I could go, but instead I’ll watch the clock and shudder whenever the phone rings. That’s my excitement.”
“I’m . . .”