I saw Haylee’s face tighten. She looked to me for help, but I looked down at my food instead. I wasn’t in the mood to help her out of any swamp she stepped in.
“Were you planning on meeting someone you don’t want me to know about?” Mother demanded when Haylee took too long to reply. Her fears about our potential misbehavior always haunted her.
“No,” Haylee said, but she had already opened the doors to Mother’s distrust. I saw Haylee’s eyes roll as she scrambled for explanations. “It’s not a big date. It’s just the movies. Melanie asked us, and Barry said fine. He’d pick us up and take us home.”
Mother turned back to me. “What about that nice boy Matt Tesler?” she asked. “I know you both like him. Wasn’t he here last night?”
“Yes,” I said.
“He has something to do with his family tonight,” Haylee blurted. “Otherwise, he would have taken us.”
Mother studied her. Haylee did have what Daddy used to call a “poker face.” Of course, he said we both did, even though I knew in my heart that he meant only Haylee. My face was more like a goldfish bowl, with all my thoughts swimming in clear view.
“I don’t like you going with someone without my meeting him first,” Mother said. “Especially someone driving you somewhere. I’m not trying to spoil your fun. You might not yet appreciate what an added burden a divorced woman with children your age has. Whatever good things happen to you will be credited to me, but you can be sure that whatever bad things happen will now be blamed solely on me, especially by your father.”
“Mother’s right,” I said, before Haylee could come up with another idea. I knew what she really wanted was for Melanie and her boyfriend to pick us up and drop us off wherever Jimmy and his brother were. The air was leaking out of her plan. She seemed to wilt in her chair. “You remember how we talked about just this sort of thing, Haylee, and how we felt sorry for Mother having the whole burden on her shoulders.”
I smiled as Haylee nodded reluctantly.
“You’re the one who actually said it first,” I added. It was like sticking pins in a voodoo doll. Her eyes looked as cold and still as marbles.
“That’s very thoughtful of you girls. You can invite Melanie and her boyfriend over anytime when I can meet him,” Mother said. “I’m a very good judge of people, your father being the sole exception.”
Haylee forced another smile, and although the words were bitter lemons in her mouth, she said, “Okay. We’ll do that.”
Mother smiled again. Then her eyes brightened more with a new idea. “Maybe Mr. Paul and I could drop you off at the movie theater and pick you up afterward,” she considered aloud.
“Oh, no, Mother. We don’t want you to have to rush your dinner or anything,” Haylee said. “It’s not that important. Kaylee and I will amuse ourselves.”
“Yes. Very thoughtful. It’s good that you are not selfish like most teenagers.”
Haylee avoided looking at me and ate her breakfast, while Mother continued to describe her evening, the food that was served, and some of the other guests. She gave us bullet-point descriptions of the women she liked and those she thought were phonies. I couldn’t help but be intrigued by how she always circled back to Darren Paul, whom we would meet when he came to pick her up for dinner. She started to plan what we should wear to meet him.
“First impressions are like cement most of the time,” she advised us. “Naturally, I bragged about you whenever I could, but I don’t believe I exaggerated. So I’d like him to spend a little time getting to know you before we go out.”
“Sounds serious,” Haylee blurted, mostly under her breath but bitterly. Then she looked up quickly and shrugged. “He won’t be here long when he comes to pick you up. What difference does it make what we wear?”
“It’s the men you don’t treat seriously who end up disappointing you. A few good minutes could be worth a lifetime of happiness or unhappiness. I want him to see how well I’ve brought you up, really all on my own, and I would like to see how he reacts to meeting you. You can tell a great deal about people from the way their children look and behave and likewise how people react to them.”
“We understand. Don’t we, Haylee?” I said, smiling from ear to ear.
If looks could kill, I wouldn’t just be dead; I’d be tortured to death. She forced a smile and nodded.
“Thank you, girls,” Mother said.
After breakfast, Haylee went up to her room to sulk. I began my homework but constantly felt tempted to call Matt. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t blame him, but something inside me still kept me from doing so. No matter how much I attributed to Jimmy and Haylee and drugs, I couldn’t get myself to believe that he was completely innocent. I imagined him realizing what was happening almost immediately but deciding to enjoy it. And then I thought, what if I wasn’t just imagining it? What if it was true? What if he had realized it but pretended he didn’t? I kept going back to my belief, my hope, that anyone, even in the dark, even under the influence of some hallucinogen, would know it was Haylee and not me. I envisioned him years from now breaking down and confessing. In any case, whatever he knew and whatever he felt kept him from calling all day.
Late in the afternoon, Mother went first to Haylee’s room to choose something for us to wear when Darren Paul arrived. She said that after talking to us this morning about him, she had decided to offer him a cocktail so that he could spend more time with us. “Of course, this isn’t a one-way street. I want your impressions of him, too,” she said.
And then she said something that made me wonder what her intentions concerning Darren Paul really were.
“The gossips will turn it into breaking news. Good. I want your father to know I’m not going to wither away like some fruit on the vine while he enjoys a new life without us. Someday he’ll wake up and drown in regret.”
After she went downstairs again, Haylee came to my room. I glanced at her and then continued reading my social studies text.
“Do you believe how Mother is carrying on about this man? It’s like she’s going on her first date or something.”
I didn’t answer or look at her.