My deep thoughts were jarred at the sound
of our doorbell. I knew it wasn’t Uncle Tommy. He wasn’t arriving until Monday. I leaned over, parted the curtain, and looked out to see Lana and Suzette. For a few moments, I thought I might let them believe I wasn’t home. They pushed the door button again and again. They were knocking, too. I knew how they both could be like bulldogs when they were determined.
I rose, looked at the diary, and quickly hid it under a pile of magazines before I went to the front door. The phone was already ringing.
“Oh, I thought you might be home,” Lana said. “We saw Kane with Ryan at the mall having lunch and wondered why he wasn’t with you.”
“I told you we’re going out tonight,” I said, sounding a little more testy than I had intended.
They both smiled. Why did my close friends suddenly look so immature and unimportant to me? Hanging out with them suddenly was a distraction, a waste of time. Nothing we could do together had any meaning. What did they know about real suffering? Children locked in an attic was just another Halloween story to them.
“Lana said she thought you might be getting a little snobby,” Suzette said. I still hadn’t stepped back to invite them in.
“Why?”
“You rushed me off the phone, for one thing,” Lana said. “We always told each other everything and cared about each other’s opinions. Suddenly, Kane Hill is off limits? There was never anything off limits between us.”
“I didn’t mean to give that impression. I had things to do.”
Neither was smiling now. Neither believed me.
“Well, did you or didn’t you stay over at Kane’s house after the party?”
“I already told you. That’s a stupid lie Tina Kennedy is spreading.”
“Well, if you don’t talk to us and tell us what really happened last night, how are we able to defend you?” Suzette asked, as if they were the ones being maligned.
“Come on in,” I said with a deep sigh, “and stop pouting like children.”
They looked at each other, laughed, and entered.
“I’m dying of thirst,” Suzette said, crumbling the sheet of ice that had formed between us.
“And I’m starving. We didn’t eat anything at the mall.”
“Once we saw Kane was spending the day with Ryan instead of you, we thought we had better check this whole thing out,” Suzette added, and hurried into the kitchen.
We were always like this at one another’s houses, opening refrigerators, finding things to eat in the cabinets, looking through whatever magazines were on tables, inspecting one another’s rooms, acting as if we all lived in whoever’s house we were in at the time. We could often be more like sisters. We tried on one another’s clothes, borrowed anything and everything from one another, and shared secrets and stories that might, at least in their case, not please their parents if they knew. Until now, nothing seemed too personal to share, especially our little romantic experiences.
I helped make sandwiches for them and then made myself a cup of tea to have with a biscuit just so I could sit and eat something with them.
“Well?” Lana asked after she bit into her sandwich. “Inquiring minds want to know.”
“Sorry to disappoint you. It was PG-13 all the way,” I said. “I wasn’t there that long after you all left.”
They both looked disappointed.
“With his reputation, I thought you surely would ‘cross the Rio Grande,’?” Suzette said.
“Maybe she will tonight,” Lana added, sounding hopeful.
“You sound like that’s all you think about,” I said.
“You don’t?” Suzette fired back. “All of a sudden, you’re eight years old again.”
“I think about it, but that’s not all I think about.”
“It’s not all we think about, Kristin, but it wasn’t that long ago that we all talked about it. How close did you come last night?” Lana asked—more like demanded.