“Gracias.”
“Es nada, señorita. Hasta luego.”
“Yes, see you soon.”
When I hung up, I thought about Edward’s warning.
“This lady’s man,” I asked Jesse. “How does such a man behave?”
“You’ll see,” he said. “Trust in yourself, Delia. Is there anything else you need right now?”
“No, thank you, Jesse.”
“We’ll be up to help you down and see you off,” he said, and left.
For a long moment, I just stood there, reeling from the shock of it all. I went to the window and looked down to be sure the car was really there and it hadn’t all just been a dream. The sun glittered off its hood. It was truly wonderful, but then I thought, how would I explain such a gift, and what would people, especially my fellow students, think when Sophia told them it was Edward who had bought the car for me? Wouldn’t this just make matters worse?
Should I care?
Having my own car meant I could drive out to see the Davilas anytime I wanted. It would give me great freedom. I might even…think of driving to Mexico. Would I dare? What if I were followed or caught? I must get hold of myself and not be too ambitious. I could be like the mythical Icarus, who was given the power and wonder of flight with feathers stuck to him with wax. He was warned not to fly too high, but he did. The sun melted his wax wings, and he fell into the sea.
Would I now fly too high?
My heart raced with fear as much as with joy. Just get dressed, Delia, I told myself. Prepare for your party, and, like an acrobat walking a tightrope, don’t think about it, and don’t look down. Go forward.
By the time Edward and Jesse returned to see how I was doing, I was dressed and ready but sitting before my vanity mirror and staring through the image I saw of myself, staring at the face of my mother. With my thoughts so devoted to my own appearance and happiness, I suddenly had the terrifying feeling that I was letting my mother die the third death. All of these events, my life here, the images of new people coming into my life, pushed my past down deeper and deeper into that abyss of forgetfulness, the land of lost memories where loved ones cry out to have their names on your lips.
I am in danger of becoming someone else, I thought. Was this natural? Did everyone undergo such severe changes? Just when I had turned into a butterfly, my mother, whose loving smile and embrace carefully had guided me, was taken from me. I needed her then, and I needed her desperately now. My grandmother, as loving and concerned about me as she was, could not help me understand all of the emotions that swirled under my breast in an electric circle. My own face and body had begun to dazzle me. I had to touch my cheek to confirm that it was truly Delia in the mirror. Something very strong and dramatic had changed inside me. It was as if I were watching the evaporation of my childhood take place right before my own eyes and, with it, the thinning and diminishing of my past, including those I had loved.
“No,” I cried as I saw my face returning and my mother’s disappearing. “Don’t leave me now.”
Then came the knock on my door. I sucked back my tears and took a deep breath.
“Yes?”
“Hey,” Edward said, opening the door and peering into my room. “How are you doing?”
“I’m still nervous about going to this party,” I confessed.
They both entered.
“I love the way you did your hair,” Jesse said.
Edward put mi tía Isabela’s chapeau on me and stepped back.
“Perfect. You really look beautiful, Delia,” he said. “There’s no reason for you to be nervous. It will be a fun party, I’m sure. And we’ll be here for you. You just call us if you need us.”
“I don’t know, Edward. I feel…”
“It’s too late. Someone’s downstairs waiting for you,” Jesse sang.
“He’s already here?”
“And down there talking with my mother, so don’t let him wait too long,” Edward said. “She could turn Casanova into a monk.”
Jesse laughed and went for my crutches. “C’mon. Don’t let Sophia get the better of you,” he said. “If you don’t go to the party, you’ll only give her a victory.”
“I don’t care about her victories,” I said, even though I knew deep inside I did. I took the crutches and stood.